Back to list

Emergency Request: Hair Care Warfare

Scene details

Setting: What started off as a simple funny idea of trying to get Reize's unruly hair fixed turned into a battle against an insurmountable foe. The Vanguards discover how aggressive the unruly strand of hair is, much to Reize's ignorance. As Ivo devises a plot, Reize gets himself into a situation with his partner... Shenanigans ensue.

Log


  It's a brand new day at the Zerhem Kingdom. The town is bustling with life as always; people millinga round shops, others chatting amongst themselves about the day. There is still a bit of a refreshing peace. Many of them have been unaware of the ongoing of the events and behind the scenes.

  Speaking of behind the scenes...

  The Vanguard Association is undergoing quite a day. Many of the Vanguards are currently collapsed, many fallen over and groaning. Aside from them are a few brushes, hairgel, combs, and other hair-related kits.

  Currently, Reize is sitting down against a table, happily chewing on a sandwich.

  What has caused such chaos?

  Zooming in on Reize, there is the unruly strand of hair triumphantly bouncing up an down. It lowers down towards the fallen Vanguards, as if hissing at them.

  CHALLENGERS HAVE FALLEN!

  Reize is unaware of the chaos.

  Meanwhile....

  There is an exhausted blond woman approaching the board and she appears resigned. "...I cannot believe I'm putting this up."

  Corrine mutters and slaps the request on the board, then she gets back to dealing with the paperwork.


 "What..."
 Ivo thought it would be funny.
 "What have I done...?"
 Sunk to one knee as though at critically low LF, sweat dripping from his brow and a haunted look in his wide eyes, the shocked magitechnician surveys the carnage. Brave Vanguards are felled everywhere, strewing the floor of Zerhem's local Association, having dared to take on the challenge of Reize's ahoge.
 "If only Laineth hadn't already left for Cosmopolis..."
 The Cosmopolitan fears his own alchemical skills are inadequate to producing a hair care product capable of contending with the beast perched atop the blissfully unaware Reize's head, let alone of taming it. With a desperate air, he looks to Argent. In the laboratory, she is often his assistant. But here, she is much more the expert.
 "Argent, is there anything we can do...?"
 After all, this is a matter for alchemy, not engineering.
 "..."
 ...or is it?

----- BACK AT THE MANOR -----

Ruidosa and friends conveyed the adventure in the catacombs and La Crima clapped and was wondering what was down there. With the catacombs now clear, she can have Tranquila do a final gathering run and then block it off in safety.

+25 Affection Rating - La Crima.

----- NOW -----

Ruidosa arrived with her mother, La Crima earlier because her mother slapped a board post with a large bounty, made her bounty deposit--. 'Scour the Marsh of Vampire Hunters'. She nodded, and left. Ruidosa stayed behind because she noticed the large carnage of adventurers around and also Reize is here.

Reize is eating a sandwich. "W..what's. What's in the sandwich?" she asks curiously, peaking at it.

She looks wide wide, begging eyes. Does she want a bite?

She does. But she isn't asking. She looks towards Ivo, lessing pleading eyes. "I think this is a losing battle."

"Also. It is cute. I like it." she pouts.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


 It is now that Anna enters the Vanguard Association building.
 She sees the chaos. The destruction. The fallen vanguards. Reize eating a sandwich.
 "... I didn't do it." Is all she says as she settles into a seat.
 Why is wrestling theme music playing???

  • Character: Argent
  • 1 year, 3 months ago

  Argent steps around and over the fallen to get closer to the target, leaning in to investigate it with her usual unblinking eyes. After just a few too many seconds of staaaaaring she straighens up again, nodding a little.

  "You have chosen the correct option in requesting my assistance with this matter." she says blandly, reaching out to poke Reize's errant hair with a fingertip. Poke, prod. "Due to my large volume of hair coupled with my alchemical knowledge, I can provide a great deal of information regarding hair care products. In addition, I am capable of synthesizing many of them."

  Then, following her investigative poking, she pinches two fingers around the strand of her. Tug!


  Upon Ruidosa approaching him and the sandwich, he glances at her with a smile. "Oh! It's just roast boar and cheese." He looks at the sandwich and then Ruidosa, and then the sandwich again. He remembered not to add garlic to it.

  "Sure!" He places the sandwich down, then he breaks it into two, handing the young girl the other half.

 Upon Anna's arrival, the boy waves to the girl. "Oooi, Anna! Glad that you can join us! We're just planning a discussion on making our trip back to Cosmopolis." A glance is given towards Ruidosa, looking uneasy, "...About that. Are you sure you want to come with us out to Cosmopolis?"

 Meanwhile...

 Argent's bravery in approaching the unruly strand causes it to lean back. A poke and a prod earns a 'whip' from the unruly hair, as it snaps out like a viper to her hand. Stay back!

 And then tug--

  "GAAAH!" Reize flails mid-bite.
 


 Ivo half-wishes that the Lady La Crima had remained with them, in the hopes of enjoying the fruits of his increased Affection Rating, and is half-relieved that she is not here to witness this ongoing debacle.
 "Cute though it may be," Ivo replies, not disagreeing with Ruidosa as he struggles to his feet, "it is stubborn and at times even dangerous. If it knows that we have the power to contain it, it might be more amenable to future compromise if nec-- Argent, no!"
 Interrupted in the middle of talking about Reize's cowlick like an independent living creature, Ivo's eyes widen again and he stretches out his hand in horror toward the homunculus as she seizes hold of the hairs, which seem to thrash about like a venomous snake.
 "Anna," he pleads with the princess as she arrives, her theme music seeming to increase in volume, "please, you've got to help!"
 But what can he do? Ivo knows he's no match for the ahoge in a head-on contest, not after it's dispatched so many warriors already. He's got to try something else. Furrowing his brow, he reaches into his cloak.
 "If you can just buy me time... I have a plan."
 And then he, taking a cue from Anna, opens the Crafting Window.

Ruidosa happily nibbles the sandwich in a cute manner, she wiggles in place as she eats it. Human food is such a novelty to her and the roast boar is excellent and doesn't have any garlic on it because Reize is appreciative of her uh. let's call them 'allergies'. Things are well in paradise!

Then Reize questions if she really wants to go to Cosmopolis with them, and she blinks and head tilts. "Huh? of course I do! Why wouldn't I?" she asks as her eyelashes flutter questioningly at Reize.

Then Argent tugs ''the viper'' and she snorts. "I don't think it likes you doing that and I think it's bothering Reize, be careful...." she says. "I bet it bites, somehow." she says, narrowing her eyes at it as she nibbles her sandwich, looking back to Reize.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


 Oh no, Argent is antagonizing the ahoge.
 "That doesn't seem wise." The princess notes mildly. But then Ivo pleads with her to buy him time.
 She stares owlishly, but understands when Ivo opens up the mysterious Crafting Window.
 "... So, Reize." She says. "If your hair normally so... Aggressive?"

  • Character: Argent
  • 1 year, 3 months ago

  Recoiling her hand from the vicious assault, Argent takes a hesitant step back...right on top of a fallen vanguard. The homunculus ignores the poor man's 'Oof!' of pain of having her foot pressed right down into his gut, only removing it to step away from a second strike by the serpentine lock of hair.

  As Ivo prepares his Crafting Window and Anna getting ready to buy some time, the homunculus herself simply watches Reize's hair. "I do not believe it is capable of biting, as it lacks the proper anatomy to perform such an action." she comments to Rui, head tilted towards the vampire for a moment.


  Once the hair is released, the boy grimaces, glancing back at Argent. "Oi! That hurts, you know!"

  Anna's question earns a confused look from Reize. Question marks pop up around his head. "What do you mean, Anna?" He scratches his head, "Hair can't be aggressive!"

  Said hair in question HISSES at the outsiders. In fact, it coils back, waggling around in a dance. It is still on the defensive.

  Reize looks thoughtful towards Ruidosa as she remarks about her desire to go to Cosmopolis. Should he tell her about the plants...? Hm. Maybe it's better to let her see it for herself! Don't spoil her! Let her see the surprise herself!
 

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Improvized Magitech: Electro Hairnet!
Roll(s): 11. Total result is 11. This is a success (by 1).


 "Done!"
 Ivo gasps out a cry of success as the Crafting Window closes, revealing to view what he had been cobbling together. It appears that he has affixed some of his precious lightning elespheres, devised through study of the Heavenly Crowned Beetle, to an assemblage formed of some of the conductive tubing he had salvaged from the undead king of the catacombs they recently faced. It was touch and go for a moment there, considering the poor condition of the tubes, but the result is something akin to a cap that courses with energy in the gaps between its tubing.
 "Alright," he says, raising the new adventuring tool (?) up as though he'd just found it in a treasure chest. "I call it the Electro Hairnet! It dynamically controls the otherwise static electricity within hair, hypothetically overpowering any errant locks."
 He says "hypothetically" kind of quickly.
 "Now then! Behold Cosmopolitan innovation at work!"
 Uncharacteristically fired up, perhaps due to his sense of personal responsibility regarding all the adventurers collapsed everywhere, Ivo boldly charges in, attempting to place the hairnet of metal and glass upon Reize's head to send electricity coursing through his hair and, uh, hopefully just his hair.
 "Anna, Argent, help me clear a path...!"
 He somehow doubts the ahoge will accept this without a fight.

Ruidosa finishes her part of the sandwich and Reize looks thoughtful and doesn't say anything. She then blinks a little and then, her eyes narrow...

"Are you a philanderer, Reize Seatlan!? Are you TWO TIMING me, Reize Seatlan!?" she asks, assuming the only reason he wasn't replying with anything was this reason!?

The dark aura forms around her as she leans up on the table with both hands against it while everyone deals with Reize's rowdy hair.

Maybe Ruidosa is about to fix everything in a moment!!!

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


 'Hair can't be aggressive' Reize says. Anna is about to open her mouth to counter this and point out that the cowlick is *hissing* and snarling, when Ivo makes his move.
 Sigh.
 "Sorry."
 Anna moves hold Reize by the shoulders so he, and his hair by extension still for Ivo.
 And probably whatever vengeance Rui is about to wreak upon Reize.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 3 months ago

Anna rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Sit still please, Reize.
Roll(s): 3. Total result is 3. This is a failure (by 7).

  • Character: Argent
  • 1 year, 3 months ago



  After Ivo requests they clear a path, Argent's hand for a moment reaches for her athame. But then, all that dark power starts pouring out of Rui. After staring at the vampire for a moment, she turns away from Reize, takes a few quick steps in the opposite direction, and turns back again once she's well away from both Rui and Reize.

  "I apologize. I do not believe it is wise to approach Reize at this time."


  There is the saying 'Ignorance is bliss'. That is Reize's state as he remains unaware of the hyper-aggressive cowlick of his. He is also unaware that Ivo is about to charge in with the static electric-imbued hairnet of metal and glass.

 However...

 What he becomes aware of is a very furious Ruidosa as her eyes narrow sharply at him. He can feel her growing anger and bear witness to the dark aura around her as she leans to the table.

 The timing of Anna holding him down, is avoided, as he, unaware that she was even trying to hold him down, is moving away from Ruidosa. Both of his hands lift up to frantically wave, "No no no! It's nothing like that, Rui! Honest! It's that you may end up not liking the environment and---..."

 The fact that Reize is backing up is putting him closer to Ivo.

 In one perspective, the antenna hair is looming over Ivo, almost like a dragon awaiting for the knight to charge into battle against it.

 'Come at me, bro!'

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: CHOMP
Roll(s): 12. Total result is 12. This is a success (by 2).


 Ivo sees his chance!
 In the process, however, there is much he does not see. Focused on Reize backing up towards him, remaining unusually impassioned, he fails to attend to the fact that both Anna and Argent seem to be retreating and that Ruidosa is fast approaching. Lunging desperately at his younger friend, the Cosmopolitan proceeds to fence with the ahoge, wielding the hairnet in lieu of Hauteclare. Sparks fly, literally, as the hair antenna jabs out, thrusting and parrying, as Ivo uses his new tool as both bludgeon and shield, trying to smother the cowlick into submission and properly activate his new magitech innovation.
 Of course, Rui has her own plans. But amidst all the confusion, Ivo is all too likely to blunder into her in the midst of her rage, all while her dark aura is at peak cursing power.

Ruidosa exclaims. "Reize Seatlan, you dumb ass!" and Ruidosa La Crima lunges across the table and ''chomps'' into Reize's arms. CHOMP. She stays latched on for a bit as she comically flails along the arm and gets dragged along with Reize as he backs off like an angry dog almost.

Reize should have provided a valid answer the first time, you see, this is all his fault!

She does blunder into Ivo along the way, but she's holding on for dear life onto that arm. With her teeth, you see.

  • Character: Argent
  • 1 year, 3 months ago



  Well away from the chaos, Argent gets an excellent front row seat to it all. She doesn't look at all worried, or concerned, or anything of the sort. Well, it's not her that's being assaulted, or fighting an apparently angry lock of hair, or being bitten by a jealous vampire.

  "Ah." she says quietly, barely audible above the fighting and the feuding. "I believe I understand the nature of Ruidosa's current emotional condition. Due to Reize's secretive behaviour, she believes that he is engaging in a romantic relationship with another." she muses out loud. Well, that much was obvious.

  "Please do not be concerned, Ruidosa. I do not believe it is within his capabilities to engage a second lover." ...she means morally, right?


  PANIC!!!!!

 Reize's eyes widen as Ruidosa lunges across the table. He is unable to back away in time as she latches onto his arm. With her teeth. The boy lets out a yelp her fangs sink in and she's dragged along for the ride, "Ow ow ow ow Rui! Ow ow!"

 Meanwhile, Ivo and the ahoge are locked into battle! The aggressive strand of hair keeps jabbing out, clashing against the hairnet. It keeps lashing but beaten, as the net is used as a bludgeon tool. It crumples up, granting Ivo the victory.

 ...Which may be short-lived as Reize is backing up, with a teeth-latched angry Ruidosa. This is going to be quite the blunder as the three will be rolling on each other.
 

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Trying not to electrocute Reize Blanka-style
Roll(s): 3. Total result is 3. This is a failure (by 7).

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Trying to avoid blunderballing.
Roll(s): 9. Total result is 9. This is a failure (by 1).


 Ivo, with a final desperate gasp, forces the hairnet down on Reize's head, defeating the ahoge at last. Surrounded by his felled comrades in hairstyling, he reaches up to wipe the sweat from his brow.

> Ivo has completed the Emergency Vanguard Mission: Hair Care Warfare!
> Ivo's Reputation with the Vanguards has increased to 0.
> Ivo is no longer known to the Vanguards as "Gavel Thief."

 Finally, he can take stock of the situation.
 "Trouble in paradise, I s--"
 And then a deafening blast of lightning surges through Reize as the hairnet malfunctions. And then Ruidosa collides bodily with Ivo, interrupting him and driving the breath from his lungs, as she is swung about by the panicking Reize. And then he falls over onto Reize.
 And then Ivo also starts getting electrocuted.

Ruidosa stays locked on and grrrrrss like an angry dog. She's gonna stop. She's about to stop when instead---she crashes into Ivo who ALSO falls ontop of Reize who falls on top of Ivo and she falls in to the blunderball while releasing her clench on Reize's arm because she's getting electrocuted also.

"IVO YOU DUMB ASS!!" she screams. But does not chomp him. Chomping is reserved for Reize only, you see. It's a thing.

Luckily, Argent is all the way over <- there.

  • Character: Argent
  • 1 year, 3 months ago



  Argent still watches the shenanigans, seeming quite pleased with her decision to put some distance between herself and the trio. "Please do not mistake my lack of action for a lack of interest in your health." she announces. "I do not intend to watch you all be injured. However, given the nature of the device that Ivo had deployed, I believe my intervention would only increase the risk of further injury to all parties involved."

  A beat passes.

  "Additionally, I believe that some humour can be derived from these events." she adds, with that stoic expression never faltering.


  Reize is the nexus of disaster, it seems. Between the angry vampire, the troublesome strand of hair, and Ivo's new invention, Reize has the full trouble looking for him.

  Reize, as the nexus of the blunderball, pulls Ruidosa and ivo in with him. There is more that he receives for his trouble...

  *BZZZZTTT!*

  Electrocution.

  The boy falls on the ground as a heap, looking charred. His antenna hair defiantly tries to rise, but it flops onto Reize's face. Of course, he does still have Ruidosa on his arm.

  Moments later, the blond haired woman returns, looking quite irritated. "Okay, what the he----..." She watches the result of the shenanigans. It's Reize, Ivo, and Ruidosa on the ground. Corrine stares. She looks at Anna and Argent on the other side. Then she looks back to the three, that she would dub 'the usual suspects'.

  "Nope."

  She turns around and walks away from the mess. She's not dealing with it today.

  And it's always those three!