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We Need to Talk about Frog Grenade

Scene details

Setting: Ivo calls a party organizational meeting for a performance review of their previous adventure.

Log


 A light rain outside has not dampened the spirits of the taverngoers in this popular Zerhem pub. Those taking temporary shelter from the brief shower on their way to the markets mingle and laugh with those finishing their day's work. The pleasant sound is occasionally punctuated, though, by a distinctive rap of wood upon wood coming from a corner table.
 "Thank you for coming on such short notice," Ivo says with atypical formality to his friends. "I am calling this organizational meeting for a performance review of our previous adventure."
 And he raps the table with a polished gavel.
 "There is one major point of contention on our agenda."
 It's hard to imagine narrowing down the questions to just one. What was up with that knight with the shovel who left as mysteriously as he arrives? What was going on with the temple in the first place? How did the gems get scattered? How did the mist work? Who built those puzzles? Who left the Bishounen Rose there? Where did Ivo get this gavel?
 "What is our collective team-up attack going to be?"
 The Cosmopolitan raises his eyebrows for emphasis.
 "I submit that this is something we should determine *in advance*," he adds meaningfully, "so that we do not have a repeat of..."
 He lowers his voice.
 "...the *Frog Grenade* situation."


  That battle within the temple left a mark on Reize. It left him in the state of confusion and uncertainty. Every time he thinks back to the day, he vaguely recollects how everything felt out of this world. That knight for example. He never seen that knight in his life, but the figure felt... familiar?

  What was this meeting about again?

  The boy had been resting on the table with arms against the table and a hand to his chin. He had been lost in thought until Ivo raps the table with the gavel. "...Ah?"

  He tilts his head, looking at their 'Responsible(?) Adult'. "Oh.. our 'Link Art'." As Ivo's voice gravely intones the 'Frog Grenade', the boy has a large sweatbead over his head. "...O--Oh."
 

Ruidosa La Crima is here, sitting regally in her blue dress. Tranquila, being so close to home, is here, in her yellow dress. Tranquila is here because she missed her sister and Ruidosa was still nursing a wound and Tranquila was doting on her in a sympathetic manner.

"Frog Grenade?" Tranquila asks.

Ruidosa looks grave and whispers into Tranquila's ear for a bit as shares the entire story in an abridged version.

Tranquila starts giggling and falls off her stool, and rolls almost out the door on the ground, but the rain stops her from doing just that, instead rolling in front of the door, giggling and pub goers need to step over her to get in.

Ruidosa scoffs. "You can't rush these things. They just happen!" she insists suddenly.


 Ivo, undeterred by Tranquila's giggling fit, continues glowering with a look of complete seriousness as she rolls about in the background. Nodding once with a hint of satisfaction as he confirms that Reize is paying attention to this important topic, he then frowns at Ruidosa's words and turns to point at her.
 "*That* is what I'm worried about!" he retorts. "I know how this is going to go! Reize is going to end up in peril, and you and Anna and I are going to say, 'oh no, we have to save him!' And then we're going to come up with a dramatic three-way team up attack on the spot, and it's just going to be Frog Grenade But Anna Throws Me Even Harder. I know it! I can see it coming!"
 It seems like in the wake of Frog Grenade, Ivo's attitude toward Ruidosa has evolved from Stage One: Give Her a Hard Time, and Stage Two: Live in Fear of Vampire Curses, to Stage Three: Forget the Curses, I'm Going to Tell It Like It Is. Which maybe is for the best. Granted, he would not be inclined to agree.



Ruidosa's eyes light up. "That's a good idea! All for 'Frog Grenade, but Anna Throws him Harder, Say Aye!" she raises her hand. "Aye!" she says, "Wha. No? Come on. It's a good idea. It's not even my idea! It's Ivo's idea!" she says dramatically.

Tranquila continues her giggling fit until she drags herself back to the stool and wipes tears off her glasses with a snorty final giggle. "God, I can't breathe and I don't even need to." she snorts again.


 Ivo shoots Reize a Look, clearly waiting to see if their fearless leader will raise his hand for vote for this proposal or not.


  Reize slowly turns his head towards Tranquila, who ended up rolling around the tavern in laughter. The large sweatbead appears once again. Afterwards, he returns his attention to Ivo, who has a more serious look on what is considered an important matter.

  His gaze drifts to Ruidosa and then back to Ivo. ...Sweat now more prevalent at Ivo's stare. "Eerr..."

  "I wonder what Anna would propose.. but I think she's busy right now." He gives a thoughtful look at Ruidosa. "...Actually, couldn't you use your dark magic to empower his Hauteclare? You two seem like you'd synch the easiest being adept magic users."



"So I empower his sword then Anna throws him, got it." she says with a thumbs up!


 Ivo allows him a smile of brief self-satisfaction, not at Reize's abstention, but at the mention of Anna. No doubt she's come up with some excuse not to join out of self-consciousness after their intimate exchange during the last adventure. She was clearly overwhelmed by that experience. That's how he remembers things and he's sticking to it.
 "Actually, as it so happens, I've already prepared a set of alternative proposals for group team-up attacks," he breezily cuts in, rapping the gavel for emphasis. "Proposal One: Ruidosa and Anna Compliment Ivo to Raise His Morale For His Ultimate Attack. I think this one is self-explanatory. Proposal Two: Replace Ruidosa In The Party With Her Mother. I think this one is also self-explanatory."


  Reize glances back at Ruidosa's quip, "Oi!" Pause. "...Well, I think Anna and I do have a Link Art where she throws me.... so that wouldn't be out of line..." Reize brings a hand to his chin, "...However, I don't think Ivo can good use out of being thrown as much as I co---"

  And Ivo cuts in with his own ideas.

  "... Errr..." He glances back at Ruidosa, and then back at Ivo's idea. When he releases a sigh, a mushroom cloud follows suit.
 



Tranquila, before Ruidosa can even open her mouth and respond, starts giggling again and falls backwards. Again and rolls right out the door in to the rain. Mad giggling coming from outside. Ruidosa La Crima shoots Ivo a ''look''.

"IVO GALVAN! I...I...." then she stands up and attempts to kick Ivo right in the shin/knee. "I CURSE YOUR KNEE!"

"WITH MY FOOT."

"HA!" shouts Tranquila from outside.


 "Order in this court!" Ivo shouts at Ruidosa as she stands up. "Order! You are-- ow! ow!!!-- out of order!"
 He bangs his gavel on the table repeatedly while she kicks him, stubbornly refusing to relent, fighting back through the power of the Rule of Law, which may or may not be especially relevant in the back table of a tavern.
 "Proposal-- oww-- Three: Ruidosa's Mother and Anna-- ow-- Compliment Ivo to Raise his--"
 He has to stop occasionally to rub his injured knee.


  At this point, Reize lets out a long, suffering sigh to accompany the large sweatbead. His face even plants to the table. Shenanigans are afoot. "... How about having Hauteclaure infused with dark energy and letting Anna wield it like a hammer?"

  At this point, maybe the Fearless Leader can offer some sort of sane answer. ...Despite the commotion.
 

Ruidosa continues kicking Ivo in the knee and ignores the banging gavel. "I'll compliment you alright, you, you jerk!" she has to stop eventually because she might do ''actual'' harm to Ivo at this rate and stops and storms back to her stool. Tranquila is walking back in. Again and takes a seat. again, dusting herself off from the ground.

"Oh my." goes Tranquila as she fixes her glasses.

"That idea probably works better than Ruidosa's idea of kicking Ivo until he can't walk." she adds. "Not that I have a dog in this situation."

Ruidosa just stews silently. You can practically see the dark squiggle lines.


 At last Ivo's curiosity overpowers his indignation and/or excruciating knee pain. Taking note of Reize's suggestion, he lets up on the gavel pounding, cupping his chin thoughtfully with his other hand to consider this.
 "Interesting," he remarks. "I've adapted Hauteclare to be increasingly receptive to magical charge, but the pommel loader is generally suited to elespheres, as direct magical charging would overload it and make me unable to wield it. But if I passed it over to Anna temporarily, she might be able to handle a temporary overcharge. This is hypothetical, but the static field that enables its maneuverability might instead transform and take on mass... Hmmm."
 His eyes sparkle with intrigue.
 "The main question is, what would we call it? I'm thinking we call it: Ivo, I'm Sorry For Kicking And Cursing You. Or, Ivo is a Great Kisser. You know, something we can all shout together."

Tranquila eyes sparkle. "Oh, really? Can I..." Ruidosa GLARES at Tranquila and Tranquila sort of coughs. "Never mind."

Ruidosa scowls. "How about we call it 'Ivo is a jerk' or 'Ivo isn't and will never be my dad' or 'Ivo deserves every curse he gets!' or 'Ivo is a jerk, Redux!' or...or.... You're a jerk!" she suddenly starts to sputter out of things to say.

Tranquila frowns. "Why not call it something like Grande Finale, instead?" she ponders.


  Reize's smile brightens at Ivo's reception to his idea. It looks like they're steering to a better point. With Ivo seeing the value of working the dark magic in, he glances back at Ruidosa. He pats her on the back as she continues to stew.

  There there, Rui.

  Of course, Reize frowns at Ivo's name suggestions.

  "...I'm not stopping her if she curses you, you know." He lets out an exasperated sigh.
 


 Ivo blinks, glancing at Tranquila, turning that intrigued look towards her. One can almost hear the Metal Gear Solid alert sound.
 "You--"
 But immediately his brow furrows as Ruidosa unleashes her barrage of, shall we say, suggested alternatives, and he turns to argue with her again.
 "You ought to grow up and let your mother do as she pleases!" he lectures. "Grown women also have nee--"
 Fortunately, Tranquila cuts in.
 "I'm fine with that," he mutters, a little sulkily. His eyes drifts to Reize. "I won't live in fear of curses anymore. You don't know what it's like to be turned into an animal and then treated with such cruelty."
 PREVIOUSLY
 Reize, in bird form, is nearly eaten by Ruidosa.
 NOW
 "...well, alright, maybe you do."


  Reize closes his eyes, listening to the argument between both Ruidosa and Ivo. The boy re-opens his eyes and then leans his chin to the palm, trying to maintain his position on the table. Reize gives a thoughtful look. Maybe he should had ordered a drink or food. Oh well.

  The explorer glances back at Tranquila's suggestion, giving her a thumbs up. "Good idea, Tranquila!"

  Reize gives Ivo a look in regards to the 'experience of cruelty as an animal'.

  Of course, after Ivo's reflection, Reize provides a solemn nod.
 

Tranquila nods matter of factly. Ruidosa pouts. "That's no fair! I had no idea Reize could turn into a bird! If I knew, I wouldn't be shoving delicious birds into my mouth." she blurts. "I get hungry when I'm nervous and being in a big, bright skyworld was NERVEWREACKING." she says.

Tranquila blinks and looks confused. "Wait. You can turn into a bird!? Show me!" she says with sparkle eyes. "Are you like a reverse vampire!?" she asks.


 Ivo takes a moment to gingerly rub his knee.
 "We did have a rather nervewracking time getting there, too," Ivo allows before turning to Reize and grinning, seemingly mollified. "Maybe we should go back to Aurita Meloda and ask Kernunnos to temporarily borrow his powers so you can show her."
 He glances to the gavel he's left on the table.
 "I should probably put this back at the Vanguards Association before Corinne finds out I took it," he murmurs. "The plaque beside did say it was her Best Administrator of the Year award."


  "Err..." At Tranquila's sudden desire to learn more about his previous state, the boy adds. "... I -used to-, thanks to Kernunnos." He brings his hand to nervously rub the back of his head. Ivo's recommendation earns a deep frown.

  r
  "You -what-?!" Reize's eyes widen, looking right at Ivo. He reaches for the older man by the cape and is immediately shaking him. "We got to give that back now! She'll think that I did it and.. and..."

  Reize can see it. The background losing its color until it is a pitch black void. Emerging from the ground is a towering Corrine with flame-lit eyes. "You decide to steal my possessions now, Mister Reize Seatlan?! You want to go back to jail, don't you?!"

  In his state of panicing, he curls into a ball. "No jail time! I don't want to go back!"
 

Ruidosa also emits a "You What!?" she then facepalms. "WE'RE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE AGAIN, STEALING IS A CRIME!" she says.

Tranquila just giggles her way out of the door again.


 "Jail!" Ivo cries, banging his gavel on the table as the boy curls up into a ball. "Jail for Reize Seatlan for ten-thousand years!"
 Stepping past Tranquila as she rolls out the door is a blonde woman suffused in a formidable aura that seems, from the past that she appears completely dry, to have deflected the rain outside. She speaks several words to a clearly intimidated taverngoer, who points toward the young man banging away at the table.
 "Wh-- oh, crap-- Reize, run!"
 And Ivo, dropping the gavel, turns and runs and dives out of the nearest open window.