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Pursuing a Princess

Scene details

Setting: Previously, in Star Chaser Story, our heroes came across some valuable intelligence (salacious gossip rag) that informed them that the princess of Zerhem is rumored to sneak out through a secret passage in the library for trysts with two beaus between whom, melodramatically, she cannot choose. In a remarkable coincidence, when the party returns to Vanguard headquarters with all the actually-relevant-to-adventurers information they could find in the restricted library, a special and oddly lucrative request is waiting for them from an anonymous source: to follow the princess on one of these escapades and confirm their veracity, on the condition of absolute secrecy.

Though the Vanguards are not forthcoming as to the request's source, their insistence that it is on the up-and-up heavily implies that the royal family is seeking help tracking one of its own. Against stereotype, however, the princess in question is no wayward teen but a full-grown adult in her 30s who (due to being from a branch family) happens to be lower on the line of succession than the much younger boy-monarch who rules Zerhem through his regent. It seems that the royals monitor her behavior out of an uncomfortably defensive fixation on their own ebbing authority and prestige, perhaps the same paranoia that leaves Castle Zerhem (and its library) mostly closed off to visitors.

When the party camps outside the secret exit at the expected time, sure enough, the princess emerges to head incognito toward Zerhem's market. Our heroes must engage in a trailing mission to see for themselves if the rumors are true -- and, if so, what to do. But how will our party blend in and avoid detection?

Why, how else but by pretending to be on dates themselves?

Log

"I am beautiful. I am strong. I... deserve... love!"

So pronounces Princess Darcia of Zerhem into her pocket mirror, having stopped for the seventh time halfway to the marketplace as though she were reenacting Xeno's Paradox. Each time, the party trailing her is compelling to scatter, ducking behind walls or booths or just trying to look innocent or innocuous, doubtless standing out to everyone except the Princess herself.

"I," murmurs Ivo behind a bushel of barley, "feel naked without my cloak."

Indeed, so seriously has he taken this mission that the Cosmopolitan has doffed his signature blue mantle, seeking to blend in with the crowd as it thickens. Gradually, very gradually, they are approaching larger clusters of people, who are heading to the outdoor restaurants that ring the central market, serving the available produce and comestibles in a range of styles from the western continent.

Some among the party might have mixed feelings at best about this endeavor. The request to stalk a grown woman is certainly unusual for the Vanguards, and camping outside the castle walls in the wee hours of the morning awaiting Darcia's emergence was damp and thankless. But emerge she did in her fetching gown and fine cloak -- and boots for tromping through the mud, which she somehow impressively stuffed into her purse to exchange for teetering heels as soon as she reached the road. The lady planned ahead.

"I am gorgeous! I am good! Love is good!"

Darcia takes a deep breath and gazes up at the sun.

"It's a blessing," she says, ambiguously.

And so she proceeds toward the restaurant area, our heroes, more or less enthusiastically, in tow.

"Have we settled on our formation, as it were?" Ivo says as he rejoins the rest of the friends who have accompanied him. "Reize, you're my date, yes?"

Ruidosa La Crima thinks... this is dumb. but it's work. and work is work and there's coin to be made and then crabs to be stuffed whole into mouths so thusly, Ruidosa has---doffed nothing she doesn't normally wear because she dresses as the noble she is! Duchess of House La Crima! The vampire moves to take Reize by the arm when Ivo makes a suggestion and she stares him dead in the eyes, glaring an evvvvvil eye.

"I curse you." she says bluntly, right off the bat. And Ivo should know why and Ruidosa shouldn't have to explain herself to anyone.

"So uh."

"What are we doing anyways here. Besides being creepy and stalking a princess."

She eyes Ivo. "This isn't some way for you to get a date with a princess, is it." she says, giving him another evil eye.

Ivo rolls 1d20.

Comment: Saving Throw to Resist (Being Psyched Out By) Vampire Curse

Roll(s): 8. Total result is 8.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

And somehow... SOMEHOW... Anna Primrose of Suryle has been dragged into this mess.

"I really don't think we should be meddling in the um. Affairs of the royal family." The Suryle princess mumbles as she's dragged in two with Reize and Ivo.

"... You feel naked without a cloak? ... How do you think I feel?" It's true, her axe is nowhere to be seen near her right now and this is always a source of mild anxiety for the berserker princess. Though it's probably not healthy that she finds the presence of a deadly weapon to be a 'comfort' for her.

"... Wait, we have a formation?"

Rui declares Reize her formation partner and there's probably no challenging that, leaving Anna with Ivo doesn't it?

"... I know I agreed to this idea, as dubious as this appears to be..." Reize begins, "But...."

What is our young, plucky explorer feeling pensive about? Well, he is not in his signature adventuring attire. No, he is instead wearing what appears to be some form of lofty suit. It is a long, white sleeved shirt and a thin set of black pants. It is not as casual or as adventurous as he would have liked.

"... Was dressing for this necessary as well?" He frowns, feeling odd in his not-so-adventurer look.

Nevertheless, they sought to follow the princess per the request. When Ivo makes his arrival back to the team, he stares at Ivo's recommended pairing. "...I think Rui would have something to say to---- yep there we go." Without missing a beat, Reize's arm is held by Ruidosa who locks eyes with Ivo.



Upon Ruidosa question, Reize offers a faint smile, "It was... upon a secret request to confirm the activity for the client." He frowns slightly, "Admittedly, I was relunctant to take up the request, but..."

Ivo braces himself for the inevitable as Rui turns her glowering gaze on him. It's fine. Vampires curses may be real, but it's highly unlikely that she can employ one at the spur of the moment. She's just bluffing. He's fine. The power of the magiscientific method, nay, rationality itself protects him.

He flinches anyway.

"I promise," he says, sounding more desperate than he intends as he extends his hands palms out toward Rui, "I had absolutely nothing to do with this request."

PREVIOUSLY

Ivo immediately plucks the gossip magazine from the bookcase where Rui has contemptuously shelved it and proceeds to summarize it aloud. In the background, listening in, is the library attendant who had struggled to meet Camellia's demands, furrowing his brows.

"I'll have to tell the Regent about this..."

NOW

"Really. I'm innocent!"

So Ivo believes.

"Moreover, I assure you, I am not trying to date a princess."

There is the briefest of pauses as Ivo glances toward Anna, who seems rather uneasy. Could it be the absence of her axe that has unsettled her? Or could their plan itself be discomfiting to the young woman? Even acknowledging that the former is more likely, Ivo feels a pang of sympathy for the girl.

"Shall we?"

So, without missing a beat, and immediately after his previous statement, Ivo gallantly extends his arm to Anna so that she might link hers with his, smiling warmly to the blonde berserker. Granted, petite girls like Princess Primrose are not his type.

But even he knows that's probably for the best.

Whether or not his courtly offer is accepted, the group will soon find themselves at one of the closer restaurants, one specializing in seafood from nearby Lake Gerisia. Darcia flushes with delight as she approaches the table of a lanky man with bushy hair who appears not to have ordered anything in advance.

"Jerry!"

He rises a little stiffly as she enthusiastically approaches with a singsong greeting, reaching out to take her hand and kiss it. She coos delightedly, but party members who have begun to seat themselves in positions with a clear view of the proceedings may detect a somewhat knowing look in her eyes. The man, upon kissing her hand, seems to hesitate, looking somewhat startled.

"Is that--"

"Oh, you know, Jeremiah," Darcia says, waving her hand idly, where a diamond ring glitters on the fourth finger of her left hand. "I just happen to like wearing *something* on this finger. Hee hee!"

"Hmmmm," Jeremiah responds.

Ruidosa looks to Reize and says "You look ''fine''~" she says in a manner that suggests she likes the lofty outfit. "It's very rougish. and handsome." she says bluntly, as she eyes Ivo with a frown but a nod, as she follows along as she watches Ivo and Anna follow close by, as she squints and eyes the going ons. Okay. Teasing with a guy. Something something, about a ring on a finger--- yup. Rumors we're righhht on the money.

"I think the rumours in the books we're right after all." she whispers.

With the exchange between the group lively as ever, Reize cannot help but smile at the interaction. Ruidosa's compliment earns a bit of a grin, "Tha-thanks, Rui..." His cheeks flush a bit, rubbing the back of his head. "A-anyway, time to move." After the group finally ready themselves into the position, Reize moves onward with Ruidosa hanging onto his arm.

He looks around the restaurant and their options. Seafood! Oh, that's grea---oh no. The young explorer is looking over at the large selection of ... crabs. He is mentally calculating his reserve funding.

Once they're seated, he gets a good look at the interaction of the princess and 'Jeremiah'. "Oh, so it is true, huh?"

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Well. This...

This certainly is happening.

Anna purses her lips, brow knotting as the group moves to follow the unknowing Darcia.

Though after a beat, she hooks her arm into Ivo's. If they're going to go all out doing this, she may as well.

But boy does she really miss her axe right now.

It doesn't help that Anna isn't even sure what her own type is.

But that is a problem for future Anna as the party moves into position. ... And the princess has a ring on that makes her gentleman friend suspicious.

Uh oh.

"Rumors? Books?"

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

"Ma'am, please, I think--"

It's astonishing how well the slightly gravelly alto of the woman responding to the flustered server can carry in this place, all things considered. "Look," it says, perhaps a little more languidly and unsteadily than is healthy. "I know how this works. I give you these shiny coins, and you go produce another bottle of..." A break in the action, before the voice continues, "...okay I can't read this very well right now but I bet you can."

Somewhere, an underpaid waiter is currently engaged in a fight for his very life with a Fox-haired spellgunner's insistent need for one of the more expensive vintages of wine served by this place. Fox, meanwhile, is surprisingly modestly dressed compared to normal. She's got a worn leather jacket on over her top and everything.

She is also very, very drunk.

"I understand, ma'am, but this is your third--"

"One more thing," she adds, gripping the waiter's tie and pulling him down toward her table ever so slightly. "You call me ma'am one more time and it's gonna be WEEKS before they find your body three kingdoms over."

An adam's apple bobs, briefly. "One bottle of Chateau D'alliance red, coming up, ma... miss."

Fox watches the waiter walk away with approval before reaching down into the basket of breadsticks provided to her and snapping into one with an annoyed look. "Ma'am. Jackass."

The party is promptly divided by the hostess into separate two-person tables, Reize and Rui finding themselves seated in the shade near a pleasantly burbling fountain, while Ivo and Anna are directed toward the edge of the plaza with a wide view of the bustling market. The Cosmopolitan is fully in character, chatting his date up cheerfully as they are led to their table.

"I've heard the shrimp here are exceptional. If you are in the mood for something decendent, the shrimp beline is topped with melted cheese atop garlic bread. Naturally, I wouldn't dream of eating garlic alone on a date." He winks at Anna. "But if we both eat it, then our breaths cancel each other out, right?"

He's mid-chatter when he almost stumbles at first a familiar inebriated voice and then a most familiar sight, his gaze turning to Fox, the irritated amazonian alchemist happening to be seated merely a table away. The young man hesitates, eyes flickering between his 'date' and Fox, before he seems to come to a decision and his smile broadens before he pulls Anna a little closer to his side.

"Fancy meeting you here," he says gamely to Fox as he approaches alongside the blonde. "I would have served as your sommelier if you'd only reached out and asked. Today, however, I am blessedly occupied."

He does his best to radiate Popular Guy Energy.

Meanwhile, Darcia's smile is fading as she sits down across from her beau, glancing between the ring on her finger and the man's distant expression. "It feels like you're a little closed off right now," she says, just a smidge tightly.

"Mm."

"I just want you to be excited for our fun date." The princess's ring catches the light as her hand spirals with her gestures. "This is kind of, like, you know, a test to see what it would be like if we got married and lived together and stuff."

"Right," Jeremiah says, as he seems to scan the crowd with a hint of concern, though none of the party members appear to catch his interest. "I love tests."

A flinty silence follows.

"I just want to have a nice day and, you know, experience that," he continues. "Let's experience that."

"Can I say something?" Darcia asks.

"You do so like to say things."

The waiter, cringingly fresh from his encounter with Fox, approaches their table, glances between the two of them, pauses, and just turns and walks the other direction.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

To her credit, Anna doesn't quite so much 'get into character' as she settles into her seat across from Ivo, but rather just tries to relax and not think about her missing, and cherished, precious axe.

"Oh, is that so?" The young princess considers as the Cosmpolitan regales her with the quality of the shrimp beline. "Well, that does sound quite delicious..."

You know. Just date things.

Even more to her credit, Anna doesn't seem too bothered about being on a date, even if it is fictional.

"You know... This is quite different from goblin courtship rituals, where I come from..." She does consider thoughtfully.

That poor, poor, waiter though...

This was a bit unexpected for the explorer. For social meetings or events-like this, Reize would often rely on Ivo to lead the way. However, they are soon separated from their strategist. Reize and Ruidosa would find themselves within the shade near the burbling fountain.

As he takes a seat, Reize looks over towards Ruidosa, "So.. uhh... we.. are on a 'typical' date location. Or something..." He glances over at Ivo and Anna, watching how they do things. Ivo is talking something, but Reize can't make it out.

Instead, Reize looks back at Ruidosa, "...I suppose we'll have to go on a proper date once the finish this..." He cannot help but wince at the loud woma--oh! He remembers her. "Oh... she was at the festival, huh?" He gestures Ruidosa over to the person that Ivo is talking to.

However, the boy does turn his gaze back at the conversation between the princess and her date.

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Ah, a little vino. Truly, the journey of the humble grape to become the smooth, refreshing draught that is wine is a sort of alchemy all its own; transforming sun, time, rain, and indeed, the loving care of a vintner into a beverage potent with the forces of life itself. As if the journey from mere fruit to this... celebration of existence in liquid form carries with it the secrets to a happy life itself.

That was glass one. Glass one was approximately 90 minutes ago.

NOW a more than slightly tipsy Fox wouldn't REALLY notice if the waiter put a glass of grape juice in front of her and claimed it was 'an experimental beaujoulais nouveau', and that is the person whom Ivo has just addressed. This may account for the ever-so-exaggerated movement as the spellgunner turns her head toward a vaguely familiar sound, 60% of a still-being-devoured breadstick poking out of the corner of her mouth at a rakish 45-degree angle. She takes in the speaker, then the attractive young lady sitting next to him, and bites down on the breadstick in reflection before speaking. "Ah, right. The pretty boy." A brief pause, as she glances at Anna. "Cheating on your boyfriend, or...?"

A loud crunch as she bites into the breadstick with an innocent expression.

"Oh? In what ways? I'd love to hear about your experiences." Ivo prompts Anna, smiling easily as he seats himself across from her. "Shall I incorporate some elements of goblin courtship into our brunch?" His eyes are playful, his smile broadening into a grin.

His mission has grown more complex. Of course, they must observe Darcia before deciding how best to respond to this Vanguard request. But now Ivo must also have the best date possible as conspicuously as possible so Fox that observe his exceptional dateability. And, finally, Anna deserves to have a good time today.

Really! He actually feels that way. Really.

It's not his fault that he can't help but see Fox through a perpetual Magitechstagram filter that backlights her with an angelic halo. The breadstick poking out of her mouth seems to sparkle. "I wouldn't dream of it," Ivo smoothly replies, taking it at obvious that he's the one being addressed. "He's well aware, and right over there." He nods his head toward where Reize is sitting, though his words are inaudible to the boy at this distance. Their fearless leader is on his own, unless he can discern Ivo's advanced dating techniques (?) from body language alone.

What the boy assuredly should not do is take his example from the princess upon whom he is currently spying. "Babe," Darcia says, tapping her ring finger on the table, "you're being really immature right now." For his part, Jeremiah keeps scanning the crowd as though he's looking for someone. "Would you please *look* at me?"

"You know they talked about us in Zerhem Mayhem, yes?" he replies flatly. "They printed my name and everything."

"And this is *my* fault?"

"Well, you do like to talk."

"I would *never*--"

"Excuse me, so sorry," the waiter breezily blusters, having returned holding a bottle of red wine and sweating profusely. "May I offer the lovely lady and gentleman a bottle of Chateau d'Alliance on the house?"

"*That* sounds *perfect*," Darcia pronounces. "Thank you soooo much. I'm sure it pairs well with *unfounded accusations*."

"Very generous, thank you," Jeremiah says, looking for the first time just a little mollified, if not chastened. "Perhaps we'll take our time to enjoy it before ordering."

"Yes, by all means," the waiter says as he pours them brimming glasses. "And do let me know if you would like another. Really, it's best for everyone if we polish this vintage off. As soon as possible." Darcia doesn't seem to be listening to the waiter's odd monologue. Jeremiah, meanwhile, is motioning the waiter over to whisper something in his ear, seeming to leave him rather perplexed and looking even more strained than before, if that were possible, before he very hesitantly nods.

"Achoo!"

Something... something about Reize being talked about and he cannot hear it. Reize rubs his nose and he blinks, "Well, that was odd." Meanwhile, he does glance over from his date over to the group in question. It looks like there is some form of tift going on.

He looks back at his counterparts with their new guest, and then back to the princess and Jeremiah. He looks back at the waiter, then he looks over to the menu. Okay, what to order, what to order... try to look natural.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Anna looks at Fox.

She looks at Ivo.

She looks over at Reize in the distance.

The Suryle princess lifts a finger and kind of makes a motion between Ivo and Reize while looking confused for a beat, before rubbing her chin.

Best not to think too hard about it, she decides, after Fox's jab.

"Well. Usually when it came to courtship-- I've only heard it secondhand, because as a human none of the goblins ever tried to actually court me- the male would recite love poetry while ducking and dodging anything and everything the female threw at him." She explains.

Pause.

"We probably shouldn't try that in a public place and... Please don't recite poetry at me."

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Fox can't help herself, largely because in her current frame of mind, any movement is basically like a laser pointer to a cat. This means she lazily follows the line of sight to Reize -- poor, beleaguered Reize -- with a sort of distracted, waxy smile on her face, before turning back to Ivo and Anna just in time to hear the bit about goblin courtship and grinning like the cat who not only ate the canary, but has the canary's family in the pantry in case she gets hungry later.

"Oh, no, I think I'd have to insist on poetry if it were me. IMAGINE the sort of things you'd get out of this smooth-ta--"

Out of the corner of her eye, Fox witnesses the waiter... the poor, poor waiter... pouring a nice full glass of red wine into the glasses of Some Tramp (too wealthy to be a slut) and Her Nervous-Looking Date. A really familiar red wine, all things considered.

The glacial stillness that comes over her lasts only a second, but a second is sometimes all you need to start a city-consuming wildfire.

"Excuse me for just a moment," she growls, standing up. After a second, she reaches down and picks up another breadstick, but it's not sure if it's now going to be used as a snack, or a melee weapon.

"Fascinating," Ivo replies in all sincerity, making a mental note to ask Anna more questions about her life among the goblins of the Verdios Queenswood at the next opportunity. "I appreciate your discretion. I'm sure your aim is excellent." He's grinning again. "Do you dislike poetry? Or do you dislike me, perhaps?"

He's not so sophisticated that he's above the classic 'so you like me?' move. The young man is betting that Anna is unfamiliar enough with dates that she'll enjoy such a classic means of being teased, but perhaps he underestimates her.

"At least Fox has confidence in my-- oh, no."

His voice nearly drops an octave along with sensation of hopes falling into the pit of his stomach as the drunken Vaeltrandian rises brandishing a bready blade. Torn between intervening and thereby potentially exposing himself to their target, and not intervening and thereby having their mission compromising by the ensuing chaos, Ivo hesitates, mind racing. Fortunately, it likely takes some time for Fox to make her unsteady away toward her targets, should she even make it all the way there. And in the meantime, the date, as it were, proceeds.

"Darcia, you know I love you," Jerry is saying, with the flat unemotiveness of someone who would definitely not succeed in a goblin poetry-reading courtship ritual.

"Hmmm," she replies, very deliberately, through her second glass of wine.

"I just wanted this to be for us, you know? But now it's a whole thing. You know this kind of attention is bad for business."

"Hmmmmmmm," longer this time. "Another man scared off."

The waiter has been gone a long time. One would be forgiven for believing that he took one look at Fox and just quit on the spot. But, in fact, it seems he's been on a very quick errand and, sweating so profusely at this point that the poor man's shirt is drenched, he has returned with a small package that keen eyes will see he very subtly passes to Jerry as he returns, the man reciprocating with a rather sizable wad of Gransean promissory notes.

"I won't be scared off," he says stoutly. "Darcia, take off that ring." And he points to the just-like-wearing-something ring on her ring finger.

"What?" she blurts out, nearly spitting out red wine onto the white tablecloth. "Oh, my Gods. Oh, my Gods," she repeats, as she tremblingly tugs it from her finger. Those seated at surrounding tables gasp in surprise and delight as Jeremiah sinks to one knee, a velvet box pulled from the small package to which he was handed. A sphere of silence descends upon the previously lively chatter.

"This," he pronounces, "is not an engagement ring."

The silence, somehow, deepens.

"This is an appreciation ring," he continues, "to show you how much I appreciate you." And he slips it onto Darcia's extended finger.

Her expression is truly indecipherable.

"Well," she finally says, "I... I look forward to a real one."

It looks like that Anna is calling for him to join her and Ivo. Given that the date is going rather chaotic, the boy has to figure out what options to take here. There is only so much that he can do when observing.

Yet, given that Anna is asking for him (and Ivo), the boy leaves his seat to move closer to the group. However, this is just in time that he does move, because he sees the familiar stranger with a breadstick looking unhappy.

"Uhhh...?"

He glances back and he shrugs, scrambling over to Anna and Ivo, "... What's going on?"

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

FUN WINE FACT: the sellers of Chateau D'alliance do not know what "chateau" means. They just thought it sounded interesting and foreign. As for "D'alliance," did you notice "the alliance, in this fake foreign-y shit" and "dalliance, as in romantic tryst" are only separated by a single apostrophe? It's true. Chateau D'alliance is absolutely second-rate get-your-date-drunk wine. The entire thing is as much a marketing scam as it is a B-tier red in a fancy-looking bottle.

This is basically entirely coincidence but when relating this story later, it will perhaps give Reize and Ivo something fun to scribble in the proverbial margins.

Fox, meanwhile, continues to... walk?... in the direction of the hapless waiter, who may or may not have noticed, after numerous pours into the alchemist's glass, that she had guns in her freakin' jacket that she didn't leave at home when going out to get drunk and eat crab legs. The problem is that Jeremiah truly did just pass him a nonsensically large amount of money to participate in what is the most embarassing non-scandal in the history of royalty.

This is why he's rooted to the spot when Fox makes eventual landfall, like some sort of alcoholic tsunami, at Darcia and Jeremiah's table.

Three pairs of eyes turn to look at her.

"Nice rock," the gravelly alto interjects into the silence. "Would you excuse us for a second?"

She then turns to the waiter and produces the breadstick between them like she's about to start a West Side Story knife fight with it. "_Eat this_."

She sounds and looks completely serious, or as serious as someone so totally blasted off her ass can appear.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

"Wh- n-no no no it's not that I dislike you!" Anna blurts in response to Ivo, paling. "A-and it's not that I dislike poetry-- and I mean I have ap retty good throwing arm, but...!" The girl huffs at being teased.

And then. ... Then...

Oh no. Off goes Fox.

"Ah... What is she...?"

Then Anna's attention returns to the conversation between princess Darcia and her beau.

That's not an engagement ring.

Ann cringes.

Wow she cringes so hard.

Then Reize comes over.

"I have no clue anymore."

"Thank you," Darcia replies uneasily to Fox.

At this point, the expressions of those seated around the royal's table have shifted from delighted shock to mortified disbelief to utter befuddlement and, against all odds, attention has shifted entirely to the waiter, who seems to be practically swimming in his own sweat, his hair plastered to his scalp, eyes wide as saucers and unseeing. The bills slowly scrunch in his tightening hand.

"Please," he whispers to the bread. "I'm so tired."

Abruptly, his voice raises.

"I'm so tired! Unreasonable request after unreasonable request! Just yesterday I was scolded by a capybara for putting cheese on his spaghetti alle vongole! A capybara! I work until I drop and still don't make enough in this city. I'm trapped. I feel trapped! And it would be so simple to feel free. I don't need much! Just someone... anyone... appreciate me!"

Tears begin to fall, but not from his eyes.

"I know," Darcia gasps, dabbing at her eyes with her napkin. "I know exactly how you feel...!" The gazes between the princess and the waiter meet and hold, Jeremiah beginning to glance between them. Brow furrowing, still on one knee, he opens his mouth to speak.

But in the chaos, the party may have forgotten an important factor.

"Darcia!!!!"

There were two beaus.

"Osman!?" she exclaims, turning toward the man who has just appeared, a Hagosan clad in vibrant hues that contrast sharply with Jeremiah's duller garb, the interloper holding what appears to be a lute.

"It is I," he proclaims, strumming his lute for emphasis. "I read in Zerhem Mayhem that another love competes for your heart. But I shall not lose! For I have composed a song in your honor. A-hem--!"

An unremarkable melody begins to fill the void.

"Baby girl, you know anytime we talk / I always tell you that I love you / So I do this for you / Baby girl, listen please: / I go there for you / Anything you want / I go do for you, giiiiirl / Baby I go pray for you / Me and you go for eternity giiirl --"

In the background, Ivo looks first to Reize, then to Anna.

"So, is this where we start throwing things?" he asks the princess.

Ivo Galvan says, "I just want to be absolutely clear that this waiter did not exist as a character in my mind until Fox invented him"

There is a lot to take in. For the young explorer who remains inexperienced with big city ongoings, this is quite a lot to take in. One is the waiter who is on the verge of tears. Though, it looks like the one who really tears up is the princess. Reize is staring at the awkward moment of kinship between the two.

Then, there is the OTHER beau. "...Oh, so there are the two... well, it looks like this will be a larger spectacle." He grimaces, looking at Ivo and Anna. He looks over at Ivo in askance.

"...What should we do now?"

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Oh goodness, that poor waiter...

Anna just... Watches, looking on somwhere between horror and bewilderment as the waiter looks to be on the verge of tears and the princess' SECOND man appears. There has to be a way to break this all up and return the princess home. A heavy sigh is the Suryle princess' initial response to all this before she quietly ducks away from the table.

A breadstick has gone missing.

Stealthily working he way around the restaurant behind people and plants and servers and trays, she gets herself into optimum position.

And it is as Osman begins to play his lute that a single piece of buttered bread goes sailing through the air, intending to bean him on the face.

If Anna angles this right, it'll looke like Jeremiah hurled it.

And hopefully fuel a heated food fight to follow.

  • Character: Anna
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Anna rolls 1d20.

Comment: Three point toss from halfcourt.

Roll(s): 11. Total result is 11.

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

Fox REALLY wanted that wine. She had this whole bit worked out, where the waiter was going to feel very thirsty after eating a breadstick and that would SHOW HIM what it FEELS LIKE to WANT A DRINK. See? Empathy. It build bridges. Let's just say that sauced as she is, this is not exactly futureproofed long-term planning and so simple things like "he isn't going to eat the breadstick" all on its own represent a more or less fatal roadblock.

A waiter-based mental breakdown and/or the sudden appearance of a lovesick, colorblind bard beau REALLY put the brakes on this, leaving a starting-to-mildly-sober-up Fox standing there holding a breadstick like a goddamned riot baton, like an idiot.

There's really only one thing to do in this situation.

Ducking down slightly, she gingerly sets the breadstick on an empty bread plate, mutters a barely-audible "Pardon me," and -- under cover of drama -- swipes the bottle of red wine before walking back to Ivo and Anna's table, slumping into the nearest available chair and slamming the bottle down on their table, then beckoning Reize over like she knows him and/or that this is her table.

"How the hell has YOUR night been?"

"I'll take that as a yes," Ivo says to himself as Anna slips away from their table, her seat soon stolen by the retreating Fox. He follows her gaze to Reize. "I recommend what I elect to call Operation Goblin Courtship."

"Baby girl I'll be there forrooffh--" Osman's serenade is interrupted by a breadstick landing neatly in his mouth mid-song. Darcia, who has been looking at him with an expression that is hesitant but at least partly flattered, gasps and turns a baleful gaze on Jeremiah, who himself looks like a lost duck.

"Jerry, how *could* you?" she cries.

"No, I wodfhfhh--"

"Booooo!" Ivo has stood up, arm outstretched, clearly the culprit who just beaned Jeremiah with a breadstick. "What's an appreciation ring, anyway!? Boooooo!"

This triggers a flood of complaints. Jeremiah is soon showered in snacks and side dishes from the outraged onlookers, the tide turning immediately against him. Darcia, though she visibly wavers, does nothing to defend him as he cowers. Osman, having finished chewing, seems to have brightened.

"Yes," the alleged musician exclaims, "booogghgrsfff--"

"Booooo!" Ivo continues, scoring another hit on his second target with a deftness worthy of the wielder of Hauteclare. "Get better material!"

The crowd seems even more enthusiastic about the prospect of chucking items at Osman. It is not long before the two beaus are forced to scurry away, retreating side by side, while Darcia sits there in utterly baffled silence -- at least until the waiter, his eyes near frenzied with the sudden impulse that has seized him, grasps her hands.

"Let's run away from here," he says, as though maddened by passion.

Even as utensils and foodstuffs fly all about them, somehow none touch the two, dwelling entirely in their own world. Finally, with widened eyes, Darcia nods. And, hand in hand, she and the waiter dash from the premises.

"I think," Ivo remarks to Reize, "we may safely report that while the princess did *have* two love affairs, thanks to our cunning interventions, both affairs have been ended. And that," he concludes, "will be true and correct."

Upon his return, he looks over towards the group to include Fox, who had slammed the bottle on the table.

"...It's been interesting, to say the least..."

Ivo's recommendation, however, earns a raised eyebrow, "Operation ... what?"

That is when Osman is beaned with the bread. He looks over to see the commotion. "Ah...?" He then looks at Ivo as he jumps forward.

He lifts his shoulders with a shrug. Best follow their strategist's lead.

"Booooo! Appreciation rings are weak! Booooooo!" He then leans over to aside to Ivo and Fox, "...What's an appreciation ring?"

Of course, Osman is beaned by Ivo, and Reize joins in with throwing the breadstick at him, "Boooo! Work on your pacing and lyrics! Booo! You are an insult to bards everywhere!" And of course, he asides to Ivo, "Hey, this is kind of fun." He looks cheerful.

Once the commotion fades and the results end with the princess running away with the waiter, Reize looks at Ivo. "... Works for me."

  • Character: Fox
  • 1 year, 9 months ago

["Clue" title card: LATER, AT CLOSING TIME]

Other than someone sweeping up the detritus of Operation Goblin Courtship, the only person left in the restaurant is Fox, leaning back in her chair.

"...well, alright then," she says to nobody in particular, taking a swig from her hard-won bottle of discount red wine.