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Madonna Goes Bananas

Scene details

Setting: The Star Chasers have an unexpected encounter or two in a banana orchard. Shenanigans ensue.

Log


 The Romancing SaGa glides freely through the sinuous rivers that spiderweb through the jungles of Oradia. Ivo, at the helm of the nimble magitech vessel, peers over charts dense with diagrams that purport to track the shifting banks, his efforts frequently shadowed by overhanging canopies. The domain of the Rosian royals extends from sea to sea across this great and verdant territory, but much of its supervision is delegated to nobles, vampire and otherwise, who in turn send their taxes and tribute upstream to the bustling capital whence our heroes came.
 "The royal family has ruled long with a light touch," the Cosmopolitan observes to his friends as the SaGa rounds a riverbend, the ever clustered trees appearing to thin in the distance now. "But unlike the royals of Granse, it seems that Oradia never struggles with insurrection or competing factions. I can understand how difficult it would be to invade, but I'm startled that none have attempted an uprising from within... until now, I suppose."
 The recent Ankhialean bombing of the Royal Palace, inciting their journey and tragically forestalling the Ball, certainly stands out as a rare attack.
 "But after our encounter with the formidable Shadowguard," he concludes, glancing to Reize, "and what we're beginning to learn about the royal family's past from Yacumama and our studies of Rui's tome, I'm starting to wonder if the government's touch is less light and more... subtle. The government's allied vampires may just be deft in how they assert their authority."
 He then glances to Rui.
 "For the most part, anyway. Oh, look!"
 Promptly changing the subject, Ivo points, brightening. There, where the trees thin, orderly plantings of burgeoning banana trees dot an idyllic settlement, near which stands a rather charming and orderly riverbank cafe, standing out as particularly refined compared to the simple fishing villages the party usually passes.
 "Doubtless the redoubt of a minor aristocrat who longs for the comforts of the capital," Ivo observes. Takes one to know one. "Shall we stop for refreshments and inquiries?"

Ruidosa is listening to Ivo. She's pursing her lips. And keeping quiet. If Ruidosa knows anything secret, she's either very good at keeping a poker face or doesn't know anything. She sighs a little. "The Shadowguard exists to protect the nobel family yes. But it's why there's never been any problems either until now I'm sure." she merely answers.

She looks over to the plantation they open up into a settlement and a lovely cafe. "Oh! I'm sure there's someone we can ask for help there." she says. "So let's stop at least. I'm sure they'll be helpful if we tell them who we are and what we're trying to do." she says. "Well you know, Stop the ball from being a wreck." she says.

She'll get ready to walk into the cafe when the ship stops, looking over to Reize. "I'm sure we can take a walk there too?" she says, giving Reize a wink. Wink~

  • Character: Daiby
  • 23 hours ago


Daiby, much like her snakes, is loving this weather. Oh, sure, the humidity's kind of high, but fortunately she is wearing sheer and breathable cotton-weaves which rest against her and allow almost all of the breeze to pass over you, while keeping your skin (dark in her case, after all) from absorbing the radiation of Oradia's yellow sun!

Despite the love for the weather, her face is not radiating with beneficency. SHe has been watching the voyage, but she has been worried. Bombing. Shadowguard. Plots. *Allied vampires*. Is it every good to hear of 'allied vampires,' Daiby thinks (she is quiet about it; she isn't sure how to put it politely, and Ruidosa is a sweetie, as far as she can tell).

"I suppose you do get the problem of expanding protection very generously," Daiby answers Ruidosa. "At a certain point you'd have to start controlling the patterns of the very weather to keep your charges from uncomfortable rainstorms... oh???" Daiby looks over. "Really?"

She tilts her head up, lips parted just a tiny bit, to scent the air.

"That IS coffee!! Unless someone's making a cup belowdecks, we are in LUCK!"



  While the group travel within the Romancing SaGa, Reize is actually doing fairly well this time. It has been through a few capable herbs that he's not suffering. Even better, no side effects. Reize is along the edge of the ship, looking around their surroundings to take in the atmosphere. He looks around the banks and the natural flora.

  He turns towards Ivo, now attention drawn to the information of the politics. "That would make sense..." With a fold of his arms, Reize considers their next steps. What does get his attention is the banana tree. "...Hm, I am kinda hungry."

  Drawing one of his boomerangs, he winds back and then he flings the boomerang upward as they get closer to the tree. The boomerang manages to strike one of the branches containing a heap of bananas. And that heap falls into Reize's arms.

  "OOooi! Ivo! Rui! Daiby! --Snake team!" He proudly holds up the heap of bananas, "Want some?" At Ruidosa's suggestion of a walk, he nods rapidly, "Yeah! It'll be nice to take a walk around the settlement!"

 


 Ivo grins as he smoothly steers the SaGa towards their destination, an unusually well-kept port by the standards of the serpentine river. Though the cafe is hardly busy, a glance at the other moored ships indicates that the party is not the only group of visitors to this attraction. It seems that, on this particular tributary, this little arcadia serves as a popular rest stop for those in the know who are on their way to or from the capital.
 "Nice throw," he calls to Reize as he eases off on the engines and lets the vessel coast in slowly. "But how about this?"
 Strolling away from the helm and to the railing, he takes up the self-coiling cable, a little magitech trinket Ivo has adapted for convenient mooring, and tosses it toward a rivet on the pier. True to its design, the cable coils around the rivet, requiring no particular technique whatsoever. He winks to his banana-toting friend as he then extends the plank for disembarkation.
 "I shall secure our coffee forthwith," he gallantly proclaims to the lovely Daiby before strolling forth, their peaceful environs primed for a good saunter. The cafe itself is shaded by pleasant awnings, sparing visitors from falling leaves, and as he approaches, Ivo looks curiously to any other guests who might be waiting there...

Ruidosa watches Reize just cut bananas from one of the trees and she hopes that wasn't a plantation tree, that's stealing bananas then! She sighs it's just one bunch anyways they can just. Pay for it. Later. if admonished. She then disembarks from the Romancing Saga and makes her way towards the cafe and--- oh.

She stops dead when she catches the sight of a recling figure, replete in bikini, near the riverbank, who peeks up her dark sunglasses under the shade of banana trees and an awning. She has some buff dude in a thong fanning her, even as she sips from a gourd. The gourd has a little umbrella in it. "Sister~" says the voluptuous redhead. "I knew you'd find your way here, pumkinnnn~. I heard about your little 'adventure' from another village!" she says.

Ruidosa wilts. Obviously, when she blurts out. "Hiii Madonna." deadpan. "How are you. Mom still thinks your embarrassment. Can we move on please?"

Madona gasps. "Move on!? Without introducing me to your friends!? And nevermind about mother." she says in mock scandalous tone.

Oh come on, thinks Ruidosa as she rubs her face. Clearly annoyed, but trying to be polite.

  • Character: Daiby
  • 23 hours ago


Daiby's eyes turn as Reize handles his boomerang adroitly. "Ooh!" she says, clapping her hands. "How do you even learn to DO that! I never heard that, Reize. Did you have to grow up in the wilds, making your way with a trusty boomerang?"

And he's offering the bananas to them!

"Let me check with everyone,' she tells Reize, before turning her head to consult with the half-dozen tame and beautiful snakes that are just kind of around there now, because everyone's accepted those are part of how we live now. There is a silent consult, and a rather long and frankly chonky snake wiggles forwards. "We'll take two," she tells Reize.

Once the bananas are in her hand, Daiby shucks one and holds onto the peel, offering it to the snake, who opens their mouth. Daiby lowers it down and once the snake seems to have gotten the mass of it, Daiby lets it go down to the deck; the snake engulfs the banana lazily over the course of several minutes.

As for hers, Daiby does peel it more conventionally and just kind of holds it on her way out of the ship deck. Two of the snakes, both red (one more rust-red, the other a brilliant ruby on grayer-greener scales) get scooped up along the way, coiling into bracelet positions. "My hero~" she calls to Ivo, before turning her head slightly to really dig into the banana.

Which means her mouth is full when she sees the redheaded lady approaching.

"HELLO," Daiby says, advancing to Madona and extending one hand. "Are you Rui dear's mother? Oh my goodness! This is such a surprise!"



  As the Romancing SaGa is moored, Reize finally emerges from the ship holding a large stack of bananas in his arms. He looks at Ruidosa as she doesn't seem to take his offer. Welp, more for him.

  Reize turns his head towards Daiby upon her question, "I grew up in a hunting hamlet in Verdios, actually. Many of us have certain specializations while others tend to be generalists." He gives a bit of an embarrassed look, "I was considered a generalist. However, I trained with boomerangs for hunting!" He brightens cheerfully. Reize then hands two of the bananas over to Daiby to allow her to share amongst the snakekin.

  Now, the presence of Ruidosa's sister, getting fanned, gains his attention. With the banana stack in his arms, he uses a hand to wave out towards her. "Ooooi!" He brightens cheerfully, "I'm Reize Seatlan, the great explorer! ...And Rui's fiance." Upon Daiby's inquiry, "Err, that's her sister." Well, at least her sister seems friendly...

 


 Ivo, momentarily distracted after accepting a heroic quest on Daiby's behalf, looks back from the vendor window when he overhears the conversation ensuing. He has developed some resistance to the wiles of voluptuous redheads generally speaking through persistent proximity to Priel, one of their motley crew in their past Cosmopolitan adventure, which is perhaps the primary reason he got so far. But what Madonna says promptly changes the equation, causing the dilettante to do a double-take, glancing between her and Rui as though considering what side to take.
 "Please, allow me the honor of introducing myself."
 With a *woosh* he is there, kneeling before Madonna, endeavoring to reach up to take the hand not holding her gourd so that he might nobly kiss it. He didn't have to consider for very long.
 "I am Ivo Galvan, Knight Errant of Cosmopolis and your humble servant."
 His eyes sparkle and shine, undiminished by Daiby's cheerful faux pas.
 "The resemblance *is* uncanny," he says. In the way that matters, anyway.
 "Your Oradian press is ready," calls a voice from the vendor window, offering up a tall and elegant glass of steaming coffee, prepared in the elegant Rosian style with a fine mesh filter. Despite his distraction, he seems to have succeeded in his quest. Well, Daiby's a babe, too.

Ruidosa La Crima thinks hard. Just ignore the obvious pitfalls. Don't mention Reize is your fiance and keep Ivo from sleazing on her. Excellent. She can do this. She flexes her hands. "Madonna this is..." and then Daiby intersects first. Madonna seems amused. "Oh I am her older sister, dear." she says from her reclined lounge chair. "I am Madonna! The first!... The best." she says the last part more darkly in a deeper tone but her tone shifts back to sweet.

Then Ivo approaches and starts schmoozing with her. "Ohh hoohooo~ No way you're traveling with ''Ruidosa'' you're too sweet." she says to Ivo. "Surely you're just the conveyance and boat owner?" she asks.

Then Reize introduces himself and she goes quiet. She opens her mouth and blinks a little. She looks over to Ruidosa. Ruidosa gives a wide nervous smile. She looks back to Reize. She looks over to Ruidosa. Back to Reize. "I see..." she says quietly. Darkly. Oh dear. "Where did you get those bananas, mayhaps?" she asks, slipping her probably anachronistic sunglasses down back over her eyes as the man in a thong continues to fan her.

This may turn into an issue soon.

Ruidosa starts wishing for a calamity to happen! Maybe a big monster attack!? She looks to the right to the left. Come onnnn Monster! Wish harder dammit!

  • Character: Daiby
  • 22 hours ago


BEFORE BANANA

Daiby says, "Oh wonderful! I can see that they'd be lovely, especially for birds!" Despite her animal affection, Daiby seems completely unperturbed at this prospect... then again, she had exactly one snake out of what seems to be a significant fraction of 'all the snakes that exist in the world' -- or so it seems -- who could eat a banana.

"Do they really always return?"

DURING BANANA

Daiby is eating a banana. For some reason the animators really put their effort into this.

AFTER BANANA (STILL TECHNICALLY DURING BANANA)

"Oh my, I'm so terribly sorry! I must have misheard~" Daiby tells Madonna, and ptus the rest of the banana in her mouth to sort of let that hang in the air rather than make it worse. Her more jewel-like snake looks at Ruidosa with sympathy, and perhaps the promise of being bitten and dying in about 12 seconds, but...

Well, that snake's about 3 feet long and about as wide around as a breakfast sausage.

That snake is not going to cause a big enough disruption.



 The young explorer looks over towards the introduction of the newly met sibling. He gives a thoughtful look as he looks over to the stack of bananas in his arms. Reize frees one arm to point over to one of the nearby banana trees as they slowly arrived into the village, "Oh! Over there!"

 As if proud of his handiwork, Reize flicks a banana from the stack and he extends a hand out with one for her and the guard, "Want one?"

  Meanwhile, Reize's pendant briefly glimmers. ..It is a faint light.

  It flickers.

  ....And fades: '...nah, can't help you'.

 


 "I serve beauties such as yourself however I may," Ivo is saying, "in manners both humble and daring. I have traveled above the clouds, across the seas, and beneath the depths of the earth, and for but another glimpse of you, I would do so all again--"
 Such outrageous flattering pronouncements are the least that one would expect of a baronet of Cosmopolis, a city defined by its extreme hierarchy and tendencies toward extravagance, or so Ivo would say to anyone suspicious of his motives. But his patter is cut short by an unexpected cry from the orchard, as though in answer to Rui's wishes.
 "Help! Help!" cries a young farmworker in a broad-brimmed hat of dried woven leaves. "Banana thieves!"
 "Banana thieving!?" cries the vendor from the window. "The worst crime one can commit in this fiefdom, as decreed by our noble lord!?"
 "The very same!!"
 Ivo tries to look meaningfully at Reize, but he only gets about halfway there before seeing Daiby eating a banana and pauses to watch, for science.
 "They're here! But those are no ordinary bandits! That's...!"
 Trees quake and branches tremble leaves showering like hail in a storm. A hooting and hollering rises, the din at first indistinct like whipping winds. Primates of all kinds, large and small, lope along the ground and spring amongst the canopy, grabbing bananas as they go, while in the midst of them all, once massive monkey reigns supreme, his visage weathered, his eyes keen.

> The legendary Monkey King of Oradia has appeared!

"Yes, the thief is right.... THERE!" says Madonna pointing to Reize suddenly as she sits up in the chair. "Send him to jail!" she orders. She then blinks. "Wait. Oh. The monkeys." she says as she wilts as she sighs and stands up and starts unfurling her wings. Because see. Madonna doesn't hide her heritage when she's about. ''Ruidosa''. You could learn a thing or two. ''Ruidosa''. Her movements all seem to be to spark rage at Ruidosa and it's working.

Ruidosa twitches as Madonna moves. "First. Ivo, stop praising her!" she barks, Madonna, who has to move, merely politely waves Ivo off. "Heel." Madonna says. less politely however.

Ruidosa then spultters. "First off, Madonna, you're not JAILING my fiance just over a bunch of Bananas secondly, what are you doing out here in the jungle, did grandfather get sick of you already!?" she laughs.

Madonna shoots Ruidosa a GLARE as she starts hovering with her wings and floats down into the Banana groves.

Ruidosa it appears, got her wish, somehow as she breathes deeply. "Good. Good. Let's...let's help them." she says as she starts ''walking'' like a normal person. ''Madonna''. because ''normal people walk''. ''Madonnna''. Ruidosa thinks.

"Come on guys. please? I need to patch this up quick."

> Ruidosa joins the battle. Madonna is NPC attending!?

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Attempting to heel as commanded while unable to fly
Roll(s): 19. Total result is 19. This is a success (by 9).

  • Character: Daiby
  • 22 hours ago


Banana thieves! Daiby, visibly eating a banana, turns her eyes to the side even as Ivo gazes at her sliding the girthy yet perfectly ripened fruit in between her lips. Did you know that bananas are often used as staple crops that are pleasantly and lightly sweet, in places where they grow readily? It's true - plaintains are basically bananas! They just aren't used as much in places where they have to be imported on fast boats.

AND YET

They are faced with Monkey. The most Monkey of all.

The snake that had been looking at Ruidosa with sympathy swivels around to look at the Monkey King. His mouth hangs open. Big snake-pog hours.

Daiby thins her lips for a moment. "Alright," she tells Ruidosa, "but I don't know if these are the right ones for fighting against a monkey..."

Aren't they all basically the same?

SOON: The snake around Daiby's arm glimmers as a wave of energy washes out on the party. Start of battle buffs! ... one of them is Heat Resistance, which may not be applicable, but Moxie, Gumption and Bruise Recovery TIme are also both improved (increased in the first two, lowered in the second - possibly below a crucial threshold?!) as Daiby says, "Shoo! We didn't mean to take anyone's bananas at all!"

The snake would probably sell out Reize... ...but he can't talk. Score one for higher mammals!

  • Character: Daiby
  • 22 hours ago

Daiby rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Do the prebuffs help??
Roll(s): 3. Total result is 3. This is a failure (by 7).



 It is at that moment that Reize tenses up. Banana thieves?! The worst crime to commit in this fiefdom?!

 Reize is now sweating bullets. Oh no, not jail again! Reize immediately looks to his left and right, then he chucks the banana stack behind him. He is just sweating. It doesn't help that Madonna, Ruidosa's sister, outs him! He has a look of betrayal at his upcoming sister-in-law. Send him to jail?!

 Oh, it appears that there is a massive primate arriving with the gang. He looks towards Ivo and the others, "Let's stop those primates!" Withdrawing his boomerangs, he runs towards the fray of the monkeys.

 ...Not before grabbing the stack of the bananas. Why? Well, he is going to throw a few out.

 "Oooi! Over here, runts!" Reize takes a few out to toss towards the monkeys as a distraction, followed by a powerful leaps with a spinning kick towards a few of them.

 

Reize Seatlan rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Distract and Kick
Roll(s): 15. Total result is 15. This is a success (by 5).


 Ivo's eyes gleam with purpose. In one hand, he wields Hauteclare, smoothly drawn, boldly grasped. In the other, a steaming cup of coffee poured from the Oradian press, steeped just long enough and not a moment further. After Daiby's contribution (eating a banana), it was the least he could do.
 "I hear and obey!" he declares, valiantly attempting to make servility sound cool, and sallies forth as the other cafe guests flee, none of the orchard's guards having yet responded to this sudden raid. As the least agile among his allies, Ivo would typically struggle to keep up with Madonna who, for all that she is floating in what seems an unhurried manner, need not contend with the terrain. But in his motivated state, what he lacks in nimbleness, he makes up for with precision. Noting errant branches in his path, he lets Hauteclare's blade fly to swat them aside with its flat even as he vaults over roots, his technique unfaltering mid-movement, not even damaging the valuable trees as he closes in. "Have at you, apes!"
 The Cosmopolitan is starting to gain experience in anti-monkey tactics, which is not experience he necessarily wants to have, but here we are. As Reize successfully targets one flank, tossing out distracting bananas like he's racing in Reize Kart, Ivo takes advantage of the monkeys on the other flank's interest in these treats. Loading a green elesphere into his pommel and casting out Hauteclare's blade to whip in from the side, he imbues a large branch of an especially impressive banana tree with a Gale Shield, protecting it from harm even as it expels all the primates clustered from it, sending them flying in confusion.
 Meanwhile, as Reize bravely repels his primate foes with fierce kicks, he may begin to sense another odd stirring in his pendant, unlike the sensation before of it responding to a fervent wish, but somewhat similar to how it felt when Kernunnos gathered power. As Daiby attempts to work her magic upon her allies, Yacumama, Mother of Waters, who has been dormant since her passage into the pendant's immaterial haven, seems to stir and, like a snake eating a banana, seek to absorb that magic herself.
 ("Prie... stess...")

> Yacumama's Spirit Gauge has begun to gradually increase.

 Hopefully this unexpected phenomenon will not distract Reize from the wrath of the Monkey King he has just incurred. With a terrifying bellow, the great ape launches himself at the valorous boy. This foe's mastery of the ancient art of monkey style far exceeds that of their previous adversary, who only increased his bulk through herbal doping, for this terror of the jungles is accustomed to his size. He lashes out with all four limbs in successful strikes, challenging Reize to a battle of martial arts!

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20+3>=10.
Comment: Bonus for Madonna+Ruidosa Teamup: DUAL BEAM!
Roll(s): 20. Total result is 23. This is a success (by 13).

Ruidosa La Crima shoots Ivo another look as he willfully follows Madonna!? Wait is Ivo being buffed....

BY MADONNA'S BIKINKI!?

Madonna gives Ruidosa a flutter of her eyes. "How sweet, a mortal that knows their place!" she says to her. "No wonder you keep him around!"

"I hate you." Ruidosa says to Madonna.

The two however, need to work together and Ruidosa looks to Madonna. "FINE MADONNA, I'LL HELP YOU. Let's stop the big guy, Ivo and Reize can handle the little guys." she says as she two raise hands and Rudisoa starts by shooting out a beam of dark-energy-like blast laser, while Madonna shoots a similar, larger laser that has more power behind it.

Madonna does seem more powerful.

The two are aiming, of course, for the big guy. "WE GOT THE BIG GUY!" she splutters.

  • Character: Daiby
  • 21 hours ago


Daiby finishes eating her banana at this point. * POWER UP

The snake on her arm continues to look around with alarm as Reize commits more and additional Banana Crimes. Why is he so committed to these bananas, wonders this small creature who mostly eats stunned baby mice but in the world would mostly eat... live baby mice.

"Oh! Be careful!" Daiby cheers for Ivo even as her enchantment begins to feed into Yacumama's watery pit, a devouring yonic creature that seeks to empower herself... hopefully a good one (given that she's in Reize's pendant). Daiby bites her lower lip for a moment, before twisting around and raising her snake-wrapped arm up.

"Slumber, monkey snacks!" Daiby blurts, in an oddly sibilant way...

As the snake begins to bob back and forth, a metronome. A rather brisk one, if one on a weird beat signature.

That's right, folks. It's WILD APE HYPNOSIS time. Maybe it can't overcome a king, but perhaps it might blunt the charge of a primate (s)pearhead!

"Not to rush you -- but I'm not sure how long this will work, Rui dear--!!"

  • Character: Daiby
  • 21 hours ago

Daiby rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: marin karin returns
Roll(s): 9. Total result is 9. This is a failure (by 1).



  As Reize sweeps out his legs to strike at each of the smaller monkeys, he follows up with swinging his boomerangs at a pair nearby. Then he steps back to give a heel kick towards another. "Take that! And that!" He grits his teeth, looking at the surrounding area.

 It looks like Ivo and the others are getting into the chaos. Reize calls out towards the residents, "Don't worry! We got this!"

  However, Reize is distracted by the shimmering glow of his pendant. He looks at the shimmer as it breathes into life. "I can feel us getting closer, Yacumama... It is good to have you with u---ah...?"

  There is a shadow looming over Reize as the large ape descends towards Reize. The ferocity, velocity, and sheer force of the Monkey King catches Reize off-guard. The weight of the limbs strikes true, giving out an unsettling crunch as the boy sails across the sky and unceremoniously lands as a heap on against a tree. "Guh...!"

 


 Will our heroes triumph against the Monkey King? Will Reize end up in Banana Jail? Is one bikini-clad party member enough to keep Ivo's motivation high!? Find out next time, on Star Chaser Story MUSH!

> An extremely optional side quest has unlocked: "Go, Go, Ivo!"
> Task Identified: Equip the Shadowcat Bikini Set.
> Task Identified: Craft the Ankhialean Beadwork Bikini Set.