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Getting Fancy with Necromancy

Scene details

Setting: The lizardfolk priestess Cutini Nak, leader of Aurita Meloda, arrives at our heroes' lakeside restaurant, Time for Crab, to investigate evidence of occult activity: specifically, the use of vampire necromancy to revive and rematerialize the spirit of the King Crab, using its giant shell, to cook and eat it over and over, creating an endless supply of the most delicious crab to ever exist. The Star Chasers endeavor to hide the evidence. I know what you're thinking: this can't get any wackier. Just you wait.

Log


 The storied achievements of the Star Chasers are now many. They have brought low a flying city of glass, bested emperors and rebels of legend, lifted the curse on an ancient city, and befriended a demigod. But none have brought such renown, such attention to them personally, as their newest and greatest achievement: putting crab back on the menu in the most popular tourist town by Lake Gerisia.
 Don't laugh. None have tasted crab quite so delicious, anywhere near so rich, meltingly decadent and layered in flavors. And somehow, Time for Crab never seems to run out of its signature product. Within days word spread and lines stretched around the block, patient customers biding their time through curious examination of the still form of the damaged MegaCapo out back gazing enigmatically out onto the water. Jimmy Jr. and his brethren are working overtime, to say nothing of our adventurers themselves. Sometimes they might even remember they used to be adventurers, during whatever brief breaks they might eke out.
 "Emergency meeting!"

> BGM Change: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6qMW-6KZT0

 Ivo slaps his hands down upon the largest table. There are dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, but those eyes remain bright and attentive, perhaps a little too much so. His coherence has not been aided by his spending what little free time he now has feverishly writing his article submission for the Cosmopolitan Journal of Necrocomestibles's Junior Scholar Prize.
 "It's as we feared," he continues. "Jimmy's network has confirmed that Cutini Nak and her retinue have arrived in person and are on their way here as we speak." By one of his hands on the table is a worried-looking rat. By the other is the Heavenly Crowned Beetle. "She's here to retrieve MegaCapo and Kernunnos's beetle and return them to Aurita Meloda. But there's no doubt, given her concern with blasphemous activities, she'll want to know how exactly we... professionally pivoted to being restauranteurs. We can't let her shut us down."
 Not before his and Tranquila's research is complete, clearly.
 "So the biggest question is what we're going to do..."
 His gaze shifts to the elephant in the room.
 "...about that."
 And by elephant, I mean the "decorative" elephant-sized crab shell, painted with bloody diabolical sigils, remnant of the King Crab and vessel to its repeatedly resurrected form.


  Given that they had been tending to the restaurant, Reize had been wearing an outfit befitting a waiter; a simple red formal attire of a jacket and slacks. The white shirt looks slightly puffy with red tie. However, there was an emergency meeting.

 Reize looks relaxed, if vaguely non-chalant as his hands hang above his head. He lifts an eyebrow towards Ivo as he mentions about Cutini Nak arriving. "Hm?" He raises an eyebrow with a bright smile, "What's wrong with Cutini Nak visiting?" The fact that they have been performing necromatic practices does not quite dawn on him.

 ...However, when Ivo mentions about the 'blasphemous activities'.

 ...

 ... Hamster wheels roll in his head.

 "WHAT?! WE'RE DOOM! WE'RE DOOMED!" He is flailing in full panic.
 

Tranquila, the blonde, yellow haired vampire has been studying that thing she did when she was drunk. THANKS RUIDOSA.

You're welcome, Tranquila, thinks Ruidosa.

The girls are busy tending to the crab shell and studying it. Ruidosa is doing one of two things. She's writing notes in her tome. Consulting with Tranquila on past pages in the tome OR She's making doe eyes at Reize in formal attire. ~.~

Still, she hears this and Ruidosa, thinks, 'I can take them' but then 'wait that'd drive a wedge between them.' and she thinks on this as she hrms...

"....f..fight them?" she asks.

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20-2>10.
Comment: Insight Roll (mental state precarious)
Roll(s): 5. Total result is 3. This is a failure (by 7).


 "Doom... doom..."
 Ivo's eyes are darting back and forth as he mutters to himself, barely audible over Reize's panicked yells.
 "That's it!"
 He slaps his palms on the table again, causing the rat perched by his hand to topple over and the beetle to skitter away.
 "We'll use the Doom Chicken to cause a diversion! If we drop a meteor nearby, Cutini Nak will be sure to examine the wreckage, and that'll buy us time!"
 He's silent for a moment.
 "Time... time to..."
 Then he leans over clutching at his head.
 "Time to what!? How're we going to hide this!? We can't fight the people of Aurita Meloda! They're Kernunnos's keepers! Ahhhhh!"
 He leans back and yells in frustration, adding to Reize's cacophony. In the meantime, a different rat has scampered up to the table and is trying to squeak a warning. Squeak, squeak! Translation: Cutini Nak and her priestly subordinates are mere blocks away.


  During the manic running around and flailing, there is a sudden moment of inspiration that burns into the boy's mind.

  "I got an idea!"

 Reize is running over towards the kitchen at the back and then he starts rummaging around. There are a few things flying out from the door; forks, knives, pirate caps, a hook shot---waait nooooooooooo!!!!!---which fades into dust. There are a few more sounds of frantic rummaging with weeping in the background.

 After a moment, Reize emerges with a large black cloth and then he drapes the cloth over the large shell before them.

 "Problem solved!" He places his hands to his waist. ... Also inwardly weeping.
 

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Have an actually good idea.
Roll(s): 7. Total result is 7. This is a failure (by 3).

Ruidosa La Crima blinks. "Well if you're gonna use the doom chicken use him now then!" she says, flailing a little her tome open in one hand. She flails off to the back to find... the doom chicken in the kitchen. He's wearing a tiny chef's hat. "Buck?" goes the chicken.
Tranquila sighs and looks at what she did when she was drunk and taps her foot a bit. She shrugs. "I dunno what to do." she says bluntly. "Maybe I can con them into thinking it's something else?" she asks.

Yeah sure, big glowing crab husk. Should be easy.

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20-3>=10.
Comment: Regain composure
Roll(s): 3. Total result is 0. This is a failure (by 10).


 Little do our heroes know that the truly revolutionary outcome of this zany caper will not be Ivo's future publication but, sparked within the restaurant's kitchen after thousands of crabs are slain in a manner akin to culinary Musou, the forbidden dual tech learned by Anna "Crabrender" Primrose and the Doom Chicken. No crab dare speak its name. Or... clack out its name with their claws in, like, Morse code.
 "Ahhhhh!"
 While Reize inwardly weeps, Ivo is on the verge of outwardly weeping.
 "Saving Aurita Meloda was the most heroic thing I've ever done!" he blurts out, clutching at his head in a rare honest to goodness meltdown. "I don't want them to hate us! Agghhhh..."
 He slumps over the table.
 "Hopeless... it's hopeless...!"
 Dragging himself up as though he too has been blasphemously revived from the dead, Ivo shambles over to the contemplative Tranquila and reaches to place his hands upon her upper arms, to get her attention and gaze into her eyes.
 "Tranquila, forgive me," he intones, previously bright eyes glazed and morose. "We won't be able to complete our research, to know what might have been. But at last we can spend these last few moments together."
 Face inches from hers should she not pull away, Ivo sighs softly, breath tickling her lips.
 "I'd hoped for us to at least have enough time for you to grow into your mother's proportions... what a loss."
 Total result is 0, indeed.
 Within moments, there is a rapping at the door.
 "High Priestess," a rasping voice can be faintly heard, "I know we have placed our trust in them, but this magical signature is..."
 "Silence, you fool!" another voice, like snakeskin slithering upon stone, hisses. "Can't you see her expression!?"
 Through a front window, one can indeed espy Cutini Nak flanked by two junior priests, the first of whom is responsible for knocking. And her expression is-- indecipherable, because she looks like a lizard.
 "I-I'm sure there has been some sort of misunderstanding," the first priest continues, sounding shaken. "We'll clear this up, retrieve our guardian and the sacred beetle, and go..."

> Suspicion Level: 25%

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Ruidosa: KILL THE LECHER!?
Roll(s): 11. Total result is 11. This is a success (by 1).

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Tranquila: Con-Artiste
Roll(s): 20. Total result is 20. This is a success (by 10).


  There is a panicked look on Reize's face as he hears the rapping at the door. For a moment, Reize does look over towards Ivo and Tranquila with a large sweatbead over the back of his head. His eyes quickly darts towards his fiancee with a worried look.

 Well, maybe he can hold things off.

 The boy approaches the door and he grabs the knob and opens it up.

 "Oooooi! I want to extend a warm welcome to our honored guests!" Given that Ivo is panicking, Reize figure he'll have to step up to be the mediator and hopefully provide some form of distraction.

 "What do we owe your visit to?!"

 

Tranquila, grabbed by Ivo, lips just inches away, is swooooooned and then she gets an idea, before she does something dumb like try to actually kiss Ivo.

She instead takes that black cloth and tugs it fiercely on a little further and tugs it off. She then clasps her hands together and turns around as Reize tries to distract the people coming to claim the strange contraption and beetle. She steals a bottle of wine from a nearby table and swigs down a lot as she turns to Ivo.

"Ivo..." she says with wide eyes. "I need you. To fight me."

"Ahahahahahahahha!" cackles Tranquila. She gives Ivo a wink. "I'VE COME WITH MAY EVIL CRAB TOTEM TO WRECK VENGEANCE FOR ALL CRUSTACEANS!" she says, cackling 'evily', giving Ivo another wink as she starts to float upwards.

Ruidosa does two things. FIRST IS THAT SHE SLAMS HER TOME DOWN OVER IVO'S HEAD, or tries to and swings repeatedly. This does DARK damage somehow.

"STOP THAT YOU TWO, YOU LECH!" she screams.

Then she turns to the 'fight' and sighs this. This is gonna happen.

"Ohhh no. You won't." she says in monotone. She looks to Reize. She looks to Ivo. She looks to Tranquila. She looks back to Ivo and sighs and despite the beating she probably just gave him, leaps at him, and grabs. "Save me. From. The Crab Priestess." she says. "-and her evil totem that just appeared moments ago!"


 'Ivo...'
 "Huh?"
 'I need you.'
 "Huh??"
 'To fight me."
 "..."
 Ivo, panic and despair now supplanted by an entirely blank expression, has watched as Tranquila rises dramatically into the air above him. He is silent for a moment, as though considering this new situation, and slowly raises a finger, as though prepared to finally offer his insights.
 "Hu--"
 He faceplants with a resounding slam as Ruidosa wallops him in the back of the head with her tome, lying still as a corpse. This draws the gaze of Cutini Nak and her retinue from the frantic Reize standing in front of the entrance, within moments of their seeing him, who then immediately see and hear Tranquila.
 "Reize!" Cutini Nak shouts. "Behind you! The enemy!"

> BGM Change: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpCJK-alNqc

 "They must not have sensed the Crab King's wrath!" her first priest calls. The second priest looks about as skeptical and baffled as a lizard can, but does not interrupt. "Quickly, we must sanctify this place to weaken the dread powers of the undead!"

> Suspicion Level reduced to 15%.
> Cutini Nak and her allies begin casting Ritual Art: Banish the Darkness.

 This prospect might be worrisome to certain Star Chasers and friends, but Ivo does not seem to be in a place to voice any objections. He has barely lurched to his feet, no thanks to Ruidosa clinging to him, and reached for Hauteclare. Unfortunately, he left it in the kitchen, so he mostly fumbles at his waist. His eyes are swirls.

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Keeping up apperances
Roll(s): 6. Total result is 6. This is a failure (by 4).


  While keeping the lizardfolk company, the boy maintains the cheerful smile as the waiter of the establishment. He gives a bow to the group of lizardfolk.

  Meanwhile, Cutini Nak's warning goes heeded as the boy turns his head over to the scene behind him. ".....Huh?" There is a large sweatdrop at the spectacle inside the restaurant.

 "Oh no!"

  His eyes widen as he looks at Cutini Nak and he waves a hand at her. "Oooi! Oooi! No using such things! Ruidosa is in there!" He furrows his eyebrows, "She's a vampire, remember?!" Steam falls above his head. Essentially, find another way that doesn't put his fiancee under crossfire!
 

Tranquila cackles like a drunk maniac and starts casting magic lights. These lights burst out across the way and impact Ruidosa. Ruidosa, who is used to this prank attack Tranquila does from years of play knows it doesn't hurt- and doesn't react quickly enough as she blinks. "Huh?" "FALL BEFORE ME!?" stage-urges Tranquila, nuding her head forward. "Oh! UH OWWWW NOOOOO!" goes Ruidosa as she wiggles on the ground in 'agony'.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle.

Then actual undead banishing power starts to form and Ruidosa raises her objection. "HEY. CUT THAT OUT!" she yells.

Tranquila sweatdrops, there, hovering in the air as she quickly wraps the black cloth around her like a cloak and lets her eyes glow and laughs. "Uh. Fools!" she goes. "Uh. GO!" she yells, throwing more 'magic lights' at Reize. They feel ticklish if they hit you!

Ivo Galvan rolls 1d20-3>=10.
Comment: Keeping up appearances (while semi-conscious)
Roll(s): 14. Total result is 11. This is a success (by 1).


 The lizardfolk clergy halt in their preparations, looking to Cutini Nak in confusion, before the priestess curtly nods and their casting ceases, and with it the immediate threat to any resident undead.

> Cutini Nak and her allies are no longer casting Ritual Art: Banish the Darkness.

 But with their surprise fading and their attention no longer on spellcasting, the visitors at the entrance are evaluating the situation more clearly, especially the wisest among them. "Of course, we would never willingly cause harm to a friend of Aurita Meloda, let alone the champion of our first festival tournament," the high priestess states in her usual grave tone, her beady reptilian eyes on the somewhat flustered Tranquila above, sparing an occasional glance to Ruidosa's not entirely convincing performance. "But I cannot help but wonder how matters got to this point..."
 The second priest glances meaningfully at the first.

> Suspicion Level: 35%

 "H-have at you!" Ivo, perhaps coincidentally, interrupts with a stranged cry. Still dazed, he has fished a spare green elesphere out of his sommelier slacks and tossed it in Tranquila's general direction, emitting a harmless but dramatic burst of wind that gusts distractingly through the restaurant, sending window shutters banging, plates and cutlery clacking, and the lizardfolk's robes billowing. In the background, the Heavenly Crowned Beetle can be seen tumbling through the air with little X's for eyes.


  A sigh of relief passes on Reize as he slumps over. Good, Ruidosa (and Tranquila), don't have to get into harms way. He looks back at the commotion behind him with Ivo and Tranquila's battle. He looks back at the lizardfolk. He grimaces as he realizes that the lizardfolk are becoming more suspicious over the situation behind them.

  It is suddenly that he's attacked by the magic lights. They are ticklish, but he panicks and he collapses towards Cutini Nak, "I'm hit! The Crab Priestess got me!" He offers out, "But we can manage...! Our team will defeat the priestess!"

 "M--maybe you can come back later?"
 

Reize Seatlan rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: Convince! Convince! Persuasion!
Roll(s): 10. Total result is 10. This is a success (by 0).

Ruidosa La Crima rolls 1d20>=10.
Comment: T & R Double Team Theactrics, go!?
Roll(s): 9. Total result is 9. This is a failure (by 1).

Tranquila and Ruidosa are used to play fighting, so when Tranquila launches more magic lights, Ruidosa responds by.... lobbing a big ball of dark energy that Tranquila eats in the chest and goes spinning into the ceiling where she hits it too hard and the ceiling shakes and she goes "OW! HEY NOT SO RO.....uh...ROUGHLY I WILL RESPOND TO THIS ROUGHLY!" she says dramatically as she's bulleted by the wind, blowing her short hair and 'cloak' as she ughs.

"Ohhh no, you'll never HIT ME GOOD." she says. "You'll never GET IN A GOOD HIT." she says.

Huh. Huh. HIT HER ALREADY, she thinks.

Ruidosa calls out "FALCATA!" and summons up an energy blade as she swings it through the air towards Tranquila. She takes the hit into the cloak and gasps. "Oh no, not my ... my powerful cloak. of power!? MY ONLY WEAKPOINT!?" she calls out.


 The lizardfolk seem torn. On the one hand, Reize's winning personality shines through. On the other, his collapsing does make it seem like the party could use their assistance. Still, Ruidosa and Tranquila's playfighting, despite the occasional hiccup, does start to make it seem like our erstwhile heroes have the upper hand. As the two assistant priests glance at one another, Cutini Nak's slitted eyes further narrow. It seems the party is teetering at the precipice of failure or success, where a single further act could tip the scales.
 Whereupon, due to Ivo's previous burst of wind, the still-tumbling Heavenly Crowned Beetle spirals out an open window.
 "Ah!"
 The two priests blurt this out at once before turning and darting away, soon becoming visible through the window chasing after it. Cutini Nak pauses a moment longer.
 "I wish you and your companions good fortune in your battle, champion of Kernunnos," she says solemnly to Reize. "We shall tend to our Great Spirit's servant and our injured guardian." Poor MegaCapo remains in serious need of a tune-up. "And we shall discuss this matter... further... at a later date."
 She departs, semi-ominously.

> Final Suspicion Rating: Medium
> Result: Conflict with Cutini Nak forestalled. Acting lessons recommended

 "...Whew."
 Ivo sags to his knees, slumping like a loosed marionette.
 "My head hurts," he mutters, before pausing. "It *really* hurts, actually... did someone hit me...?"
 As our heroes at last have a moment to gather themselves, their erstwhile investigators chase after a stunned beetle, and the rat waitstaff start to clean up some of the mess made in the chaos, unbeknownst to any of them, a cloaked figure, hood pulled low over a hidden profile, watches for some moments more before turning away, disappearing down an alley -- for now.

> A new interlude quest, "The Beastkeeper Society," is now available.


  Reize takes notice of the priests darting off to chase after the source. He has a question mark above his head, looking back at the commotion behind him to get a better look, before quickly turning towards Cutini Nak. He gives the lizardfolk priestess a nod. "Y---yes!"

 He collapses on both knees, giving a sigh of relief.

 However, he cannot help but feel that ominous, oppressive aura falling over him.

 He looks back at Ivo and the others.

 "W--We did it!"
 

Tranquila gawwahhahahahas heartily. "I WILL BEST THESE HEROES! FOR I AM... Uhhhhm...."

"They're gone? They're gone. Whew." says Tranquila as she pretty much floats downwards and lands on her butt. She pulls the cloth away from her. "HEY JERK. GO EASIER NEXT TIME!" she calls out at Ruidosa.

Ruidosa huffs. "You wanted a fight I fought you!" she huffs.

The two get into a shoving match. It's not very fervent.

Neither answer if Ivo's been hit.

But yay, they can continue their blashemphy!