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Angry Crab 6: Crustacean Crime

Scene details

Setting: Last episode, our heroes discovered the long-lost treasure of the Pits of Avarice in the form of an extraordinary solid-gold golem. With Ruidosa concerned that revealing this newfound wealth would once again attract treasure hunters to the dangerous and haunted Pits, Ivo conducted a foolproof scheme: to launder the gold through The Capo's contacts in the Lakeside Town by way of acquiring a languishing seafood restaurant. This will go well.

Log


 Dust shimmers in the air, forming a corona of sunlight that ripples from the lakeside breeze wafting through the open windows of a building in stately disrepair. The interior evokes the shabby elegance of a once fine establishment left to languish for some years, the glass of those windows cracked in places, the wood of the floor and tables of high quality, sourced from the forests outside Zerhem, but scratched and battered from the years. Some care would be needed to restore this place to its evident former glory.
 Fortunately, our heroes have some experience as restauranteurs.
 Which is weird, when you think about it. Why do the Star Chasers keep ending up in restaurants? Like, does Zerhem have a thriving dining culture or--
 "Welcome, welcome, to our fine establishment!"
 Ivo, hair slicked back and cloak absent (still at the tailor from their last adventure), is once again playing the sommelier, though this time less as a performance and more as a substantive job description. A couple of tourists are peering dubiously through the door at the interior, which clearly still needs some work, even if the interior is acceptable and the kitchens astride are operational.
 "Please, make yourself at home! The special today is crab legs. The rest of the crab is, uh, not available."
 The tourists hesitate, squinting at a corner.
 "Is that a rat?" asks one.
 "Does it have a *knife*?" asks the other.
 Ivo smiles.
 "That's Jimmy Jr.," he replies without missing a beat. "Our security."
 A long silence follows.
 "Can," the first tourist finally says, "you trust him?"
 "Of course. We know his godfather."


  They are all supposed to be explorers, going throughout the world and finding the beyond. Why are they now owners of a restraurant? Oh right, they made it large and needed a place to store the funds. The young explorer had been observing their situation.

 He offers his service as a waiter, tending to the tourists. "Right this way! Don't mind Jimmy Jr! He is friendly despite the knife!"

  As for the young prince, Constatin had remained in some form of disguise, dressed in a more modest outfit, not quite unlike a sailor. Given that he is an adventurer as well, he was asked to talk to their friends. In actuality, Reize wanted to make sure that their young protege is distracted from whatever plan that Ivo had.

  As always, the rat gang are more than willing to oblige in keeping the young prince distracted. In fact, they are telling their own tales of adventure, as if to inspire the boy to journey out into the sea.

 Reize looks back at the rats, giving them a thumbs up while having a sweatbead over his head. "... I can't believe we're doing this."
 

"Now listen." says Tranquila. "Yes?" asks Ruidosa. "You can't eat all you want!" says Tranquila. "Awwww..." goes Ruidosa.

"SO STOP EATING THE PROFITS!" says Tranquila as Ruidosa sits on top of the crabs in crab storage.

She's yanked out by Tranquila as she's shoved out front and sulks now as Tranquila handles MERCHANTILE BUSINESS. Ruidosa has a seat in a corner and hrmphs, crossing her arms and looking indignant. Her gold went into this business! She should be able to relax and eat crabs.

"Hrmph!" she goes.

  • Character: Daiby
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


A completely ordinary person who is dressed like the sort of person who you want to come to your restaurant steps in from outside, discreetly checking a wristwatch which is, in fact, composed of a black snake that has intertwinked with a rectangular cameo brooch which is doing the actual time telling, as if it were embedded in a sundial placed where it could catch the sun all the day long.

Daiby is wearing something like a sari, except with even thinner and form-hugging fabric, some subtle gold brooches to pin the wraps of turquoise and pink fabric together, and with her hair done up in a tasteful updo with three hairsticks, each with their own decoration dangling out. Another snake, this one a leucistic corn-snake sort of fellow (probably no poison, definitely a set-off from black hair and dark skin) hangs out up there, seeming to get the lay of the land.

"What a charming establishment!" Daiby enthuses. "I'm so glad to have independently discovered it! The ambiance is already whetting my appetite!" She speaks as if she's on the stage, because:

She is a ringer, here to Set Expectations.


 "Thanks, chief," Ivo says with a lively grin to Reize as he guides the tourists to a table, the Cosmopolitan clearly enjoying himself. "I'll handle the front of house."
 "Chief?" one tourist whispers. "Of what?"
 "The rats, maybe?" the other guesses.
 "Never fear, Rui!" the self-appointed sommelier gallantly proclaims to the sulking vampire, chastised by her business-minded sister. "I have our excellent staff hard at work securing a constant supply!"
 He points out one of the cracked windows, from which the lovely lake shore is visible, where a small dinghy toting crab cages is docking, piloted by a crew of stout-looking rats. They are all wearing sailor outfits similar to Constantin's. This is why the tailor was too busy to finish mending Ivo's cloak. One of them tries to give Ivo and Rui a thumbs up, which is difficult, because it does not have thumbs.
 "It is our honor for such a beauty to grace our humble establishment!" Ivo grandly replies to Daiby, definitely not playing along with a zany idea they cooked up together. "Please, allow me to pour you a glass of Oradian white wine, on the house." He strides cheerily toward the kitchens. "Its refreshing bouquet is the perfect complement to the locally sourced olive oil that accompanies our fresh bread."
 The Capo's olive oil manufacturers made them an offer they couldn't refuse. Arguably, maybe, considering the *minor* disagreements that The Capo has had with the rat clan in the past, there is *some* hazard to involving both underworld factions in their new establishment, but--
 "Just one moment, please--"
 There are more pressing matters to attend to, as becomes clear when Ivo opens the door to the kitchens as narrowly as possible and slips in, though not narrowly enough that the sound of a hectic melee can be surpressed. Numbers briefly start popping out of the door, filling up the combat log in the corner of the screen.

> Anna has attacked Crab with Cleave.
> Anna has attacked Crab with Headbutt.
> Anna has attacked Crab with Chaos Control.

 "I DON'T THINK THAT'S ENTIRELY NEC--"
 The rest of Ivo's words are cut off as he closes the door.


  After ushering a group to their seat, Reize watches the exchange between Tranquila and Ruidosa. He gives a sheepish look on his face to see Ruidosa sulking. He sidles over towards her and places a hand over to her back. "Well, at least the LaCrima family owns more of the land around here, right?" He offers her a grin, "And you've contributed to the LaCrima wealth.

 There is a bit of a twitch as the tourists ask about his role as 'chief'. Chief of the rats. As if to play off of the words, Jimmy Jr turns towards Reize and gives the 'chief' a salute. Reize returns the salute, albeit awkwardly.

 Perhaps it is not too far from the truth.

 Reize cannot help but awkwardly muse on how his relationship with the Rat Godfather has blossomed up to this point. At the very least, it has been a boon in getting the place established and keeping Prince Constatin occupied and hopefully not get suspicious of the actions. Maybe remind the kid to not talk about the trip. After all, secrecy.

 The entrance of another familiar face earns his attention as Daiby arrives. With Ivo giving the greetings, the boy follows suit, "Ooooi!" As soon as he goes to check in at the back to see how the food is being prepared.

 The explorer is not ignorant of those numbers. "... I sort of wish I was in there dealing with that." He muses, "Maybe good practice for the our new explorer, too!"

  Prince Constatin, dressed as a sailor, had been helping the other stout-looking rats with the crab cages. He's helping!
 

Ruidosa La Crima mumbles something like an affirmative to Reize and Ivo, ssoftly sighing as she sighs a little. "Whatever, I guess." she says. She looks at the going ons as she stands up and walks over to Reize and leans over. "Do you need help?" she whispers. "With the work?" she asks as she huffs.

"Tranqy kicked me out of the kitchen because I was eating too many crabs." she says as she tries to puff up and says.

"R..right. I guess we are helping my family." she says. "Hopefully." she says, eyeing the rats. And...

The olive oil laundering? What?

  • Character: Daiby
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


"Oh, my goodness! What good luck!" says Daiby enthusiastically. "And olive oil with the bread? Ah!" Her hands clasp together as the snake in her up-do flicks out its tongue cheerfully. "I'm so delighted!"

"Oi oi~!" she calls back to Reize.

"Now darling," Daiby says to Ivo, "is this a restaurant that serves from a menu, or have you presented a prix fixe menu, culinarily curated to present a luxurious vision of taste and mood that will escort us to the heights of oral delight?" Her hands stay clasped together as she asks this. She could have probably put that differently.

Her eyes turn momentarily towards the kitchen with concern.

Then back to Ivo.

"Oh of course!"


 *slam*
 Ivo reappears, panting heavily, face flushed, a broken bottle of wine in one hand, leaning heavily against the kitchen door as though to brace it closed. The bottle appears to have been sheared in half somehow and is still sloshing with the remainder of the wine within. He looks a little wild-eyed.
 "Actually," he says to Daiby and the room at large, "we have a new special." He still sounds cheery, but rather more hoarse than before. "Shredded crab stew!"
 He clears his throat.
 "Also, crab cakes," he adds. "*Very* flat."
 "It's so nice to be able to dine on so much crab again," one tourist says, clearly making an effort to make polite conversation even as she eyes the rat in a little chef's hat who is bringing her a basket of bread. She picks one piece up and squints at what looks to be a nibble in the crust before gingerly tearing that bit off and dipping the rest in a small dish of olive oil and balsamic vinegar. "Ever since the king crab incident, the supply has been restricted, even here."
 "Ah, yes, king crab," Ivo quips. "Also delectable, yes?" He has walked over to Daiby's table to pour her wine as best he can from the broken vessel, making a valiant effort not to spill anything.
 "No, no," the tourist continues, "the King Crab. You know, The Dweller in the Deep. It's said that someone disturbed his rest some time ago and he has returned to his ancient duty of legend, as the defender of all Gerisia's crabs. Normally this town's trade isn't sanctioned by Zerhem, but the, um, local leadership--" A certain underworld organization, in other words. "--took the threat quite seriously."
 Ivo is silent for a moment, his flush fading, going pale instead. Some of the remainder of the wine is starting to spill onto the floor.
 "Yes, well," he finally says, "I suppose he... was there."

 PREVIOUSLY

 The Capo, clad in track suit for his morning underwater capybara jog, runs in the path of Reize and Ivo's ultimate team-up bubble attack moments before their target, an enormous crab, blows them both out of the water.

 NOW

 Ivo is only becoming paler. His gaze is now glued to the window, where the lovely lake side view now reveals that a single enormous crab claw is slowly rising from the water surface. The rats in sailor outfits are now holding little tridents and harpoons. Finally, very slowly, he looks to Ruidosa.
 "Yes," he answers her question. "I think we might."
 At least, Constantin might, seeing as he's out there.


  As Ruidosa approaches him, he offers her a grin, "I am fine, actually! The work has not been too bad." He then glances out towards the outer deck, watching the young prince with the stout-rats. "...However, our young explorer could use some help." He reaches for Ruidosa's hand to tug her along, "Come on, let's help our protege while---"

 ...And Ivo emerges with the door slammed behind him. Broken bottle of wine that's sheared in half and the wide-eyed look.

 "Uh..."

 Pause.

 "You okay?" He furrows his eyebrow, "What's going on in there?"

 Pause.

 "Nevermind." His antenna hair flops down. "... I don't think I want to know."

 The conversation about the crab from the tourist gets his attention, turning to face them as they recite the crab incident. At first, his eyebrows knit in confusion and interest regarding the 'king crab'. However, as the call of the 'Dweller of the Deep' and disturbing the rest, the boy is slowly starting to recollect what happened.

PREVIOUSLY

 Ivo freezes. He stares at The Capo. He turns to stare at Reize. He turns to stare at the crab. The crab stares at them. He looks down to stare at the cuttlefish in his net. The cuttlefish looks up at him and, with the tentacles about its mouth, seems to give a little shrug.

 And the two are knocked out of the water and flung high into the sky.

NOW

 His antenna hair flops as he mutters, "... Ah." To be reminded of the unsuccessful mission to regain the affection of Ruidosa. ...Before ending up making her furious and unlocking her ability to put curses on people as the first recipient.

 Reize turns towards Ivo and Ruidosa. "Yeah, let's aid our protege! At least he's getting some experience!"

  It is now long before the young prince emerges, sailor outfit with the haul along with the stout-rats. He is tugging on the cage, emerging with fresh crab. ...Said crab are trying to flail their arms around.
 

Ruidosa La Crima stares at Ivo. "Are you. uh. Okay, Ivo?" she asks. She then looks over to Reize and says. "Okay!" she follows along.

Ruidosa La Crima was not around for the big crab battle. For obvious 'I hate you, Reize Seatlan' moments. But she would had found all this novel.

For now, she eyes the crabs in the crate and mutters. "Behave, OR YOU'RE NEXT!" she says dramatically at the crabs, pointing dramatically, to make them huddle down and behave for the prince and rats.

  • Character: Daiby
  • 1 year, 3 months ago


"Oho, I see you're letting it breathe," Daiby yes-ands to the presentation of the sliced bottle. "That sounds outstanding! You're making use of every piece of the crab, and not letting any of it go to waste just because it's been, hm, what's the word? Cracked open?"

Then there's talk of king crab. Daiby looks over and blinks several times. "Oh, goodness," she says, moving her glass to catch Ivo's spill.

"Are you alright?" Daiby asides to Ivo. "Please take a moment if service is getting to you!" She glances to Ruidosa and mouths to her 'Is He Dying?' silently but emphatically. Will Ruidosa see? Or understand!? Daiby hopes so!

"I'm sure you could reach some kind of an arrangement with the monarch crustacean," Daiby then says to Reize, hands clasping together. "Maybe his less popular subjects? The ones with a bad demeanor? That kind of thing?"


 The smaller crabs within the cages dragged in by Constantin and his boon rodent companions seem duly intimidated by Ruidosa's threats, doubtless sensing that they are in the presence of a remorseless devourer of their kind. But clearly unintimidated is the enormous crab outside still in the process of emerging from the water. Seemingly about the size of the building they are within, its second claw emerges as its first crashes down upon the dinghy the rats had been using until moments ago to plunder the lake waters, sending it splintering into pieces. Ivo lunges for the window to shut it moments before the collision, muffling the sound of the destruction.
 "This olive oil is *incredible*," one of the tourists blithely says as he munches on the bread. The other tourist, mouth full, nods vigorously. "Who is the producer? I simply must know."
 "Aha," Ivo half-chuckles, eyes darting from the window to the guests, clearly frazzled now. "You won't believe this, but the, uh, rumors say that the olive magnate in question is a, er, talking capybara."
 "SQUEAK!?"
 Jimmy the Rat, Jr., looks up, clenching his little knife.
 "Squeak squeak squeak squeak!"

 PREVIOUSLY

 The Capo kills Jimmy Jr.'s father.

 NOW

 "No," Ivo says weakly, looking as though he may indeed be dying, "that was a... different talking capybara."
 "Squeak," Jimmy replies, lowering his knife.
 Ivo sighs as he seems to resolve one conflict as the most important continues to loom over him, most likely literally in mere moments. His gaze shifts from the blissfully ignorant tourists, to Daiby making her spirited suggestion, to Reize.
 "An arrangement, you say. Well, I think we'd better," he remarks, "very quickly." The rats outside are slowly retreating with tridents and harpoons extended as the King Crab begins to slowly shamble onto the shore. Faint screams can be heard as townsfolk enjoying the lakeside scatter.


  The sound of crashing gets Reize's attention as Ivo shuts the window. He immediately rushes forward to see the massive King Crab arriving to the shorelines.

 ... Oh no.

 His face pales, realizing that they will have to deal with the massive, angry crustacean. He starts to approach the young prince, "Oooi! I'll need you to be a brave sailor and protect the people inside." There is the sound of crashing, screaming.

 WILHELM SCREAM.

 With a quick look towards Daiby, Reize nods. "Yeah! We--we'll have to come to some sort of arrangement...ahhh excuse us...." He is reaching for Ruidosa's hand to pull her with him as they rush out towards the backdocks.

 "We'll deal with the guest outside!"